Carolina Chanis

Mar 9, 2022

The futility of the Rebel Princess' search of meaning

The Rebel Princess cannot be accused of laziness.

If anything, she is always too busy. You gotta schedule her for a coffee date weeks in advance.

But there’s a futility in what she does, because the Rebel Princess keeps creating problems for herself.

The only way she pushes through is by putting herself in situations where quitting is not an option. This is how she managed to graduate and get a job.

On the outside, she is checking the boxes. On the inside, there’s a voice that is constantly telling her - HOW THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE BUYING INTO YOUR BULLSHIT? Can’t they see that you don’t believe in half the shit you say about yourself?

For a while, this is not a real problem, since we live in a culture that says fake it till you make it. So you keep faking it, because one day you WILL make it.

This is where the façade the rebel princess has built falls apart.

There is NO GUARANTEE that you WILL make it.

In fact, YOU WON’T MAKE IT if you are building a life while at the same time you have this belief in the background: “I can’t possible have those things that I am aiming for, right?”.

This is the root of the futility. The Rebel Princess does things from a place where she doesn’t really believe in herself, but that doesn’t matter because once the world recognizes her, THEN she will have the proof she needed all along to finally believe in herself.

Can you see the rigidity of this thought loop?

There is no space to experiment. There is no space to question our thinking. The path is set - and it’s a path of addiction. Chasing achievements, validation, jumping from one challenge to the next, always enforcing our willpower on situations.

The Rebel Princess pours her energy into this futility. She cannot control life’s curveballs. She cannot control other people’s opinions.

Eventually, she reaches a crossroad.

  1. She digs her heels deeper in this futility

  2. She notices the pattern and gets curious

Which one will you choose?

Carolina Chanis

Letting you in on the process of healing from perfectly hidden depression and the courage it takes to create without the torment of the inner critic.

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