I'm not going to promise you I will be here tomorrow.

I've tried shaming myself to stay because I promised.

I tried telling myself that wanting to go was wrong. That running away is cowardly.

It's actually not cowardly. It's a thing that people do. It's human.

It's not that I want to run away. Not in the way a scared animal would at the first rattle of the bushes.

I'm doing my work around that(am I saying that for you, or for me?)

I might WALK away.

Briskly and decisively.

I might run to the other room and not to another country.

I might even stay for a really long time, way longer than most people think I should.

Whatever I do, it will be my choice.

I can't learn how to walk without putting my own foot in front of the other and seeing what that's like.

I once wished that you would trust me to make the right choice.

Like you trusting me somehow makes my decision more valid.

Can I trust myself without your seal of approval?

Actually, you NOT trusting my decisions is kind of off-putting.

You don't need to agree, but trusting that I am doing what is best for me is a quality I need in those around me.

And you might have that.

And I still might not be here tomorrow.

So how can I still say you can count on me?

Because I believe that.

I trust myself.