The Zipless F*ck - A usually spontaneous sexual encounter between strangers with little or no personal information exchanged.

(Erica Jong, Fear of Flying, 1973)

For anybody who has met me, you know this was never my style nor was I interested in this type of interaction. Sure, maybe it'd have been fun, but what I've always sought was connection...

So how did this phrase enter my vocabulary?

Credit to my Professor of Jazz Studies at University of Tennessee, Keith Brown, for weaving this concept into one of our private drum lessons. I was young, only 17, a Freshman, and trying to uplevel my drumming abilities at an unrealistic pace. I wanted to be the best drummer in the world, and I wanted it to happen right then and there.

The only problem...I had never played Jazz music before.

Now if you've ever listened to Jazz music, you can probably tell by the sound of it that you can't just conjure the skills to perform that style out of thin air. It takes time...meanwhile I lacked most of the fundamentals to even get started.

So Keith asked me if I had heard of the Zipless F*ck.

Of course I hadn't...a book from 1973 alluding to a concept I could not relate to. Why would I have?

Except, unbeknownst to me, apparently I could...

"Aaron, what you need to do is treat your aspirations as a marriage, not a Zipless F*ck. You need the wine, you need the date nights, you need the build up. Don't take that part for granted."

Unfortunately patience was never my strong suit...but those words stuck with me and as a result I slowed down my whole learning process.

So now when I hear the phrase Zipless F*ck, I remember that the best things often take time to play out, and that the hard work is worth the wait.