It used to be hard to ignore people back in the way back days when you had to actually answer the phone.

Now all of our communication is by text or email and delete/ignore/  has never been easier.

WHY this happens is always interesting to me. 

Here’s what I’ve learned:

1.     Some people have zero FOMO. I have a client who deletes all of his unread email when he comes back to the office after a vacation. While this is horrifying to me it was  explained as, “I get 900 emails a day. If you didn’t know I was out last week, your message wasn’t critical.” I understand his point.

2.     Some people are legit overwhelmed. I get crickets periodically from support teams of my enterprise level clients. They’re paying me, so I don’t take it personally, but I do take meticulous notes and follow-up. Most times they apologize and admit they just missed the message. Email tsunamis happen, give some grace here.

3.     Some people just aren’t ready for you. Timing is everything. If you’ve sent a proposal or had a meeting and don’t get a response to an email – consider there could something else going on behind the scenes that has nothing to do with you. It’s important to try to learn what that is, but don’t assume they never want to talk to you again.

4.     Some people are rude. It’s hard to overcome bad behavior, but why would you want to work with that person anyway?

Here’s what you can do:

1.     Keep your email short to begin with. Get to the point and make it easy to respond to quickly. Use bullets and single sentences. Nobody is going to read a solid block of text .Nobody.

2.     Acknowledge the person is busy. But avoid using cliché’s. Avoid “Just circling back..” and “Putting this on top of your inbox” even though that’s what you're trying to do. Include the original thread, add the urgent exclamation point (if it is) and say, “I’m sure you probably missed this – do you have an update on _____?”

3.     Turn the table. For proposals or sales follow up where you’ve had no response. Try, “I’m sorry, I’ve been super busy and I’m just now getting back to you. Can we reconnect on this?

4.     Be helpful. “Did you get what you needed from me? I just want to make sure you’re covered” or regarding a proposal, “Were you able to find a workable solution for XX? I don’t want to leave you hanging”.

Ghosting isn’t always about YOU, in fact it rarely is! When the conversation goes cold it pays to revisit later with a quick, “Hey I’m still out here” offer to talk. Sometimes we give up too easily when all the other person needed was a nudge.