It’s 2016, and I’m 100 projects into my 180-day coding project challenge, but what did I do on day 100? I sabotaged my progress by skipping a day, which became a week, which became a month, which turned into an incomplete project 

It’s 2020, and I’ve been doing so well on my fitness journey, but in August I felt, hey I deserve a day off, that day off turned into a month off, which turned to 6, which turned to gain all that weight back. 

Today, It's the final week of ship 30, and I find myself in the same situation as I was before, all those years ago, in a self-sabotaging path. I can’t get myself to write, to research, to read, just languishing around. 

As I approach my goals, a perplexing behavior often emerges: self-sabotage

This act of deliberately hindering one’s progress, especially when success is within grasp, is a paradox that deserves exploration (otherwise, I’ll end up turning insane with this constant self-destruction).

What lies at the heart of this issue? Turns out, it’s fear.

Be it fear of failure or even success, or the unknown that comes with change. 

Achieving a long-term goal often brings significant changes, and the uncertainty of these changes can be intimidating. Some, fear not living up to the expectations that come with success and get overwhelmed by it. Others might fear the possibility of failure, even in the final stages, causing them to subconsciously derail their efforts to avoid facing defeat.

It can also be psychological, as in, individuals psychologically identify with their struggles.

Reaching their goals means losing a part of them. That part that is tied to striving towards that objective. This loss of a familiar struggle can create a void, leading to actions that delay the completion of their goal.

So turns out self-sabotage near the completion of a goal is often a manifestation of deep-seated fears and psychological complexities.

In a time where manifestations are spoken of nonstop, how can I manifest self-support?