This book by Douglas Gillette & Robert L. Moore helped me through an important time of transition in my later 20's.

Let me know if any of this sounds familiar.

At 28, I was at the point when I could not carry on with so much shame & guilt around my "flawed performance" around others, people-pleasing, and stories I made up about what others thought.

It was a cathartic point when I did a lot of healing around these shadows. I asked for help - and joined a men's support group called Mankind Project all about men being authentic, not having to always (or ever) show up as macho or unbreakable. I read this book to go deeper into the work.

My life changed. Here's how it could add to your journey:

The Lover Archetype is not actually about sex & desire. It is more about embracing simple sensations, empathy, and approaching life as a beginner, curious to see how it all plays out and how you develop.

"All of us, when we stop doing and just let ourselves be and feel without the pressure to perform are accessing the lover."

This has always been where I thrive. It is through music, dancing, and travel that I feel into this the most. I cultivate it through meditation, exercise, rest, going on dates, talking to attractive strangers, and going to community events.

What about you? When do you feel this with ease? When do you want to feel it the most, but you're up in your head instead of your body?

The Warrior energy is strategic & sharp. It is willingness to stand firm or fight with integrity, but discerning about which cause is worth it. It's not ego or reaction, but clarity about your values and how the world could do better by you showing up and acting in alignment with those values.

This masculine archetype is most widely associated with "being a man," but 90% of its portrayals in media are toxic caricatures. "Patriarchy is really 'puerarchy,' the rule of boys or sons."

This is the energy of a man whose father has died and must reckon with the legacy that he carries and where he'll take it. Nothing prideful or boastful about it, but a wounded distilling of the truth of life.

Are you willing to let your ego die? Willing to lose your friends & status? What compels you to stand up and take such a risk? Do you trust that you can win with courage, even if you perform badly?

The Magician energy is introverted, thoughtful, and reflective. It is not shyness, but a capability of detaching from inner & outer storms. It maintains connection & introspection with deep inner truths.

When I can approach life's challenges as opportunities for further insight, stay grounded in "the grand scheme," and even get excited about the mistakes that I'm making as a learning process, I am embodying the magician.

I feel it most as a teacher (high school social studies) and as a student (hobbies, skills, reading, writing). This is the second most natural for me, one that I practice through my work.

In what area(s) of your life do you feel like an eager student, learning & growing through the act of practice? What frameworks or mantras do you use to help you make decisions and approach life's challenges?

The King energy is embodied & demonstrated through our own central calmness about who we are, our essential unassailability and certainty in our masculine identity. The king is not envious, but secure in his own worth.

On my wedding day, I felt this on a deeper level than I ever have before. It was my claim on this life & the relationship with my wife, Keisha, that I embraced.

I felt a boundless confidence that has largely stayed with me since then, a year on into married life. It was a confidence of being loved and not having to perform to be worthy of it.

When was a moment in time or a period in your life when you felt this most - looking over you life as a vast expanse of land that you ruled over with integrity & intention?

If you identify with masculine energy, wish to embody the mature versions of these archetypes, and even go through a rite of passage to emerge into the world as a "man of men," I highly encourage you to read this book and get connected with a men's group.

Embodying Healthy Masculine Archetypes: Reading & Growing with "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover"

This book by Douglas Gillette &amp; Robert L. Moore helped me through an important time of transitio

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This book by Douglas Gillette & Robert L. Moore helped me through an important time of transitio