Day 51: meditated for 90 minutes tonight - feeling extremely relaxed compared to how I felt going in. This despite having 4 hours of sleep and feeling hungover... incredible! Mind was mostly full during the entire time but got to clear a lot of thoughts. Laid down for the last bit of the session.

Day 52: did 75 minutes - mind was mostly full. Did hit very relaxing states where I can't figure if my self was there or not - pretty indescribable. Good in general.

Day 53: I must admit that today I cheated. Well - not really? I didn’t formally sit down today in the same cushion with the same posture, but rather meditated for 120 minutes by being extremely aware of whatever I was doing moment for moment. With no music and alone… just the recognizing of my thoughts. Did yoga, did Wim Hof. Not perfect, but refreshing. Feel lighter now, and even made great progress in something I had been stuck on for a bit.

Day 54: 60 minutes today (average session time) - mind was mostly full with thoughts regarding my project. I realize I have no control whatsoever over these thoughts (or any thought, really) even if I sometimes wish I did. I can only control my awareness towards them, and in that awareness is how they gently pass by. A great session, well worth it.

Day 55: no meditation - busy, busy day.

Day 56: did 50 minutes in the morning, which felt super smooth. I’ve noticed that a lot of how my session goes is determined by my prior mood. In this case, I felt relaxed beforehand so the session was easy-peasy. If I’m not, the session tends to feel longer, but it’s almost guaranteed I’ll feel relaxed coming out of it regardless.

Day 57: participated in Waking Up's first retreat, "PAUSE". A 6+ hour event that included: Zazen, Kinhin, looking at myself in the mirror for a long period of time and listening to profound talks. I am moved by how peaceful living moment to moment felt like - and at the same time - impressed by how unaware I am of my default "go go go" state. Everything felt slower and full of life for these few hours, although I dropped out of it almost immediately as I went on about my day. Would do a longer retreat.

Day 58: meditated for 30 mins, then did yoga for 30 mins. Relaxing.

Day 59: felt I "had to" meditate today to complete the 60 for 60 challenge. That took me out of meditation entirely, as the intention of my practice was not the right one. Anyways did an hour of yoga and was carefully aware of my thoughts for another couple of hours.

Day 60: still felt like the practice for today was "forced" - just so I could complete the challenge. Glad that it's ending for me to just meditate at my own pace. An hour in the morning and two in the afternoon of careful thought examination.