Do you have trouble dealing with bullies and haters?

Almost everyone has experienced a hater or bully in life. These people get into our heads and mess with our confidence and motivation. If we aren't careful, they can derail us from our hopes and dreams.

In my house, there are frequent conversations around this topic as my children experience these issues in school and sports. Unfortunately, changing the behavior of the bully is usually out of our control.

It's not easy, but working on our own mindset and reaction is often the best way to manage these situations.

1. Do more of what they hate

Motivational speaker and author, Shola Richards, says to keep doing more of what they hate.

He explains that if we change ourselves just to please the haters, it's not like we will be best friends with them. We can't make everyone happy and chances are you can NEVER make people like that happy. Eventually, they see their comments aren't stopping you and they move on.

Don't change who you are. Be yourself and keep doing what makes YOU happy.

2. Keep in mind, they likely have their own issues

When they lash out with their mean/negative words, they get something from it.

Whether it makes them feel superior, powerful, or better about themselves, they are doing it to get under your skin. Their comments may come from a place of insecurity, arrogance, or jealousy. It's hard to know, and it's not something you should spend time figuring out.

Hurt people hurt others. If someone is mean for the sake of being mean, there's something else going on with them that does not involve you.

3. Focus on your tribe 

Turn your attention to the people that matter.

If a bully is getting in your head, stop focusing on them and focus on those who cheer you on. You have family, friends, peers, and more who have encouraged you and will always be in your corner. Focus on those people.

Think of all the words of encouragement from those who support you. Let the thoughts of their support carry you past the negative words from a hater.