We are all aware of the micro manager - the person that is constantly checking in to see if something is done, or being very specific about how something should get done. You may even be one yourself at times.

We also all know that it's not the most efficient use of time. And it's unlikely to lead to the most fulfilling work or relationships.

The root cause? A lack of trust.

Symptoms of reduced trust

A great simple test for how much trust you actually have with another person is the amount you need to communicate around your behaviours, either in advance or retrospectively.

Think about your relationship with your best friend. How much do you need to explain to each other about your actions on a day-to-day basis? Probably very little. You implicitely know that you will be thinking about what is best for the other person without needing to say much at all.

If that was your most hated enemy, you would likely be suspicious of their every action. It wouldn't matter how much they defended their behaviour, you would likely not believe a word.

This is an extreme example, but there are other more common signs that you may not have complete trust in a person or team:

• You end up doing a lot of work yourself rather than delegating it

• You find yourself in a lot of meetings

• You write very specific and detailed instructions

• You keep bits of information to yourself rather than being completely transparent

• You ask people to check with you before they do certain things

That's not to say these are bad things. If someone is new to a role, junior, or lacking context then these can be helpful and supportive things to do. In fact, there are probably very few people you should trust absolutely. But less trust will make you busier and less effective.

This is why it is worth reflecting on your behaviours and asking yourself what would need to be true for you to increase your trust.

This is part two in a series about trust. Read part one here.