Giving feedback is difficult because the way most people give feedback isn't brain-friendly. When feedback is indirect or soft, the receiver may not realize that feedback is being given or when it is too direct the receiver could get defensive and retreat.

Cognitive psychologist LeeAnn Renniger researched great feedback givers and put together this 4-part formula.

Step 1: Micro-Yes

Prepare the person you are going to give feedback to by asking a simple question. "Do you have 5 minutes to talk about how the presentation went?" You are pacing them and when they say "yes", you are getting buy-in and creating a moment of autonomy for the receiver.

Step 2: Data Point

Make your feedback precise by using data points— specify what you saw or heard and cut out vague words that could mean different things to different people. Instead of saying "You did a great job on the presentation.", say "You provided the client with detailed, weekly status updates. This made the client involved and taken care of. Great job!"

Step 3: Show impact

Tie the feedback to the positive or negative impact it caused. "I really liked how you added the metrics on the presentation, it helped me grasp the concepts faster." This creates a purpose, meaning, and logic within the feedback and that is something the brain really craves.

Step 4: End on a question

When you end on a question like "This is what I'm thinking we should do, what are your thoughts on it?" you give the power back to the receiver. It is no longer a one sided conversation but a joint problem-solving situation. It fosters commitment rather than compliance.

Great feedback givers not only give excellent feedback but also ask for feedback regularly. When you seek for feedback you are broadening your impact and establishing yourself as a continual learner. Mix and match this 4-part formula to make it work for any difficult conversation.