I knew a dude for 13 years. We met at a job. at first we didn't speak all that much on the phone, then I started getting to know this guy and right after he left the job under some tumultuous circumstances concerning a woman, his life had some very interesting turns.
First of all, he said he smoked a bad batch of weed with some friends, never smoked before in his life. and right after that he said he passed out and felt weird.
Then I noticed that, the dude's spent many days sitting in his mother's house doing a big bunch of nothing. But thanks to his baby's mother, he was able to get video game systems, laptops, she was even going out of her way to buy him a car.
The car thing fell through, so old boy got a car from a dude who was dating his mom and eventually married her. who gives free cars nowadays? This guy did.
Left his mother's house, moved in with a different baby mama, and she was paying for the cell phone bill and his car insurance. He still didn't work.
Every time I hung out with this guy it was like an expensive dinner date. I ended up paying for everything. whether it was the pizza spot, burger joint, ShopRite, Dollar Store, guess who was always coming out of Pocket to help this guy out because we always needed something for his kids?
Then I noticed that he could do all night binges playing video games. He could hang out with a different baby mama while the one he lived with was working.
I came to the realization that there was nothing physically wrong with this guy despite the fact he was trying to convince me otherwise. He kept talking about passing out , but it never seemed to happen when he was playing his video games or hanging out with one of his other baby mothers.
So it had to be done: I had to cut him off. We're talkin 13 years here. Constant job leads being given to him. Sent to his email, only to find out he never checked his email.
I once got hired at a job that was paying decent money, I called him and immediately and told him to apply, they were paying well. He never responded.
I took him directly to a job agency to get work, he worked less than one day, found some reason to leave the job, abandoned the job in the middle of the day , and never went back to work.
I came to the realization, that even though we could relate, we were friends, we told each other rather sensitive information, when it came down to trying to get his life back on track, he didn't do squat.
I failed to see the red flag.
He told me years ago, he could get a woman to take care of him.
And me like a doofus kept hanging out with the guy, trying to help the guy, spending money on this guy, because I wanted to be a friend.
Well, cutting him off was the best thing that I ever did. I saved money and stopped feeling guilty. I recently ran into the guy and he has a job. Nothing to celebrate really, He didn't have much Choice.
After all, most working people have responsibilities to take care of. He's just mad that I wasn't there to support him like everybody else was and now he had to carry his own weight.
So that's my story. Maybe everybody else should look around in their Circle of Friends and see if there's that one person who's always needing help, who always seems to have a problem, can't seem to hold down a job, but has unlimited hours to devote to leisure.
If you know someone like this, cut them off immediately.
None of us have the luxury if we are able-bodied and sound minded, to have someone else support us.
It took me 13 years to learn my lesson.