Every day on social media, we're fed with a bunch of reassuring messages: "It's not your fault," "Don't take things personally." But let's be honest, we're not always the victims, are we?

Sometimes, intentionally or unintentionally, we make other people's days worse. It could be while defending ourselves, speaking out of turn, or being caught in unavoidable conflicts. It could even stem from having a bad day ourselves or simply enjoying making someone else's day worse. But if the latter describes you, it might be time to consider therapy. Seriously.

A coworker shared an incident with me: When Russia initiated the war with Ukraine, she was overwhelmed with anger and worry, especially since some of her family still in Ukraine.

One afternoon, she went to a nearby coffee shop with her dog, Misia. Misia was so attached to her that when my coworker left her leashed outside and went into the coffee shop, Misia started whining.

When she returned, a man sitting on the patio said, "You need to train your dog." And that simple comment set her off. She couldn't stop ranting and raving, "How dare you say something like that? Who gave you the right to say such a thing?" for five minutes. The man sat still and stared at my coworker as she vented all her anger. She later admitted she wouldn't have reacted that way had she not been so angry that day."

There was a period in my life when I was extremely stressed. I had no job, no money, and felt as though my existence didn’t matter, as if the world wouldn't be any different without me.

I passed a blue sedan parked on the sidewalk while lost in thought. Suddenly, the idea struck me: What if I scratched that car? How would it feel? Maybe it would give me a sense of power, as if I could influence others. It would be evidence of my existence.

I didn't act on that impulse and felt terrible for even thinking that way. But it made me realize why some people enjoy hurting or messing others. They need to vent out their anger and feel the sense of dominance and the power to affect others.

Why People Like Messing Up Others

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