12 years ago, I volunteered to work with teenagers weekly.

And after speaking with 100's of teenagers over the years, a significant reason why older people do not form rewarding relationships boils down to the unconscious biases we all hold on to.

Unconscious biases are social stereotypes about certain groups of people that individuals form outside their conscious awareness.

5 examples that hold us back from enriching relationships with adolescents

Ageism

Stereotyping breeds implicit prejudice against young people.

This deprives us of new perspectives and learning opportunities as we see things from their viewpoint.

Confirmation bias 

This is the tendency to interpret normal adolescent behaviour as evidence confirming inherent perceptions of adolescents as complicated.

Horn Effect

Teenagers are going through numerous changes, which are confusing

Their reaction is often perceived as unfavourable, leading to an assumption that characterises teenagers as problematic.

Contrast effect

We refer to the good old days, comparing teenagers today with teenagers from previous eras while missing out on the context of the times. 

An example is that present-day technology is vastly different from past years, and the speed of evolution is exponentially faster. 

Status quo

The human preference is to cling to the familiar and try to fit everyone around us into that mould. 

Unrecognised unconscious biases affect our relationships with adolescents (even before we start)

Developing relationships with teenagers is often outside our comfort zone, reinforced by the innate human resistance to change.

Embracing the challenge becomes more manageable when we admit that we all have implicit biases and can build fulfilling relationships with adolescents by demystifying them.