‘Games People Play’ is an intriguing read exploring human relationships’ psychology and how people interact.

These interactions are games people play, termed as social intercourse. When two or more people meet, one person speaks, and others respond; this exchange is a transaction.

These transactions occur between one of 3 ego states:

Parent, Adult, or Child.

Ego states are a system of feeling accompanied by a related set of behaviour patterns.

Parent: State resembles those of parental figures.

Adult: State drives by freely directed towards reality.

Child: The state is old-fashioned, not modern, and was fixated in childhood.

The ego state play may seem fair but often hides true motivations and predetermined outcomes.

Lesson #1: Stop playing mind games

The play carries one of 3 ego states. It ruins a relationship or worsens if it is Parent-Child or Adult-Child.

Lesson: The most effective way to play is in adult-adult, where both are driven towards finding solutions while understanding each other.

Lesson #2: Need of Awareness

While playing games, we lose capacity to be aware. Awareness means seeing things in one’s own way, not how one was taught.

Lesson: By being aware, we can maintain focus. Living in the present moment strengthens our relationships across different ego states.

Lesson #3: Don’t be motivated by past

The game starts to lose if you bring the past into a relationship while interacting.

Lesson: Avoid past incidents affecting your interactions. This fosters healthier, new relationships by appreciating the present moment with others.

Lesson#4: Don’t waste energy to win the game

People focus too much on winning games, often changing their ego state in the process.

Lesson: Give yourself the freedom to express feelings without compulsion to play games and have only the feeling you were taught to have.

Lesson#5: The play needs Intimacy

The game people play corrupts and lets them go against their real nature. This conflict affects relationships the most.

Lesson: Intimacy brings a game-free openness, an awareness that evokes positive feelings, and turns it into a game of love.

5 key lessons I learned from the book ‘Games People Play’ help me understand the psychology of human relationships

‘Games People Play’

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