Most people won't reject you if they can understand you.

That's an experience I've had again and again. Now, since I'm a writer, I usually don't have to explain my weirdness. People just expect writers to be kinda weird.

But if you don't have this luxury, helping people understand you will make your social life a lot less painful.

Here's a little story to show you what I mean:

The guy who brought his own wine glass to the party

About 10 years ago, when I was still living in Berlin, I was invited to a party at a friend's house. That friend - Tinka - is very extraverted and meets new people all the time. So each time she threw a party, you could be sure there'd be many new faces.

I hadn't seen that guy that arrived shortly after me before, either.

When he arrived, one of the first things Tinka did was to offer him a drink. He wanted white wine. But when Tinka turned around to head for the kitchen and get him his wine, he stopped her.

What he did next was so weird, I still remember it today.

He rummaged around in the backpack he'd brought, and then produced a wine glass.

Without a word, he handed it to Tinka. There were several witnesses to that scene, and we all looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Was he being serious?

Judging by the look on his face, he was.

Tinka handled the situation gracefully, but to everyone who saw this happen, the guy was "that weirdo who brought his own glass". He wasn't exactly socially excluded, but people weren't exactly keen on engaging with him, either. I don't think that poor guy felt very comfortable.

Here's the one thing he should have done differently.

If he'd just explained why he brought his own glass, I'm sure he'd have had a lot more fun at the party, and maybe made some new friends.

Maybe he was suffering from OCD. If he'd said this, I'm sure everyone would have understood. Heck, maybe there was someone else with OCD at that party, and he'd have made a new friend!

But without any explanation, it was just weird.

So whenever you notice that your behavior raises some eyebrows - explain!

You don't have to give them the real reason if you don't feel comfortable doing so. Just make something up that sounds plausible!

The key word is "because".

There are studies in social psychology (link in the tweet text) that show that people will comply with requests if you give them a reason and use the word "because" (followed by the reason) - even if that reason isn't very compelling!

That way, people won't see you as all that weird.