Everyone makes flawed financial decisions at some point.
In my 20s, I unwittingly attempted to make every money mistake in the book. Sometimes I wasn't even aware I was - like the time I used a credit card advance for the down payment on my condo!
In other instances, like overspending, it was due to a belief that I was "bad with money." Sound familiar?
But what changed for me was having the awareness that 1) being broke constantly was not how life was supposed to be, 2) I was worthy of more and better, and 3) if I dug down deep enough I might find the root cause.
Like most of the challenges life had thrown at me, I would figure this one out too. But I had to do a lot of self-reflecting to surface the underlying thoughts and behaviors that needed to change.
There are many self-reflection methods, but the 5 Whys is my favorite because it's easy and effective.
Peeling the onion layers on your financial situation:
Start by identifying one money issue you want to focus on. Example: My credit cards are maxed out again.
Ask yourself "why?" and let the answer surface. Don't judge it. Example: Because as soon as I pay them down, I immediately spend on them again.
Now ask "why?" again. Example: Because I don't have enough cash and I have to use credit until my next payday.
Ask "why?" again. Example: Because my spending is out of control.
Another "why?". Example: Because I love to shop.
Ask another "why?" and as many as required until you arrive at the feeling, belief, or thought driving your behavior. Example: I feel in control when I'm spending money.
Once you know the root of your behaviors, you can start the resetting and rebuilding process.