Justin Horsch

Justin Horsch

August 26, 2022

Day 13: You are a terrible listener

To listen does not mean, or even imply, that you agree with someone. It simply means you accept the legitimacy of the other person’s point of view and that you might have something to learn from it.

Below I have listed the most helpful thing in a couple of different categories:

  • I have read Your Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters

  • I have listened to The Human Side of Money (shoutout Brenden Frazier)

  • I have watched and emulated pastors, counselors, colleagues, and friends what makes a good listener.

And all of these things helped me a ton.

If I had to boil down what a good listener is, this is the simplest way to think about being a good listener.

Step 1: Be Genuinely Curious

The person you are listening to has a story to tell, even if you don't like it. You could learn something from them if you stop and listen to them.

Step 2: Ask Good Questions

The key to asking good questions is to get people to explain their situation in greater detail. Do not assume you know the answer or ask a question that you already know the answer to, both of those are disingenuous and are harmful to the conversation rather than helpful.

Step 3: Accept Cognitive Complexity

There are gray areas in every issue, and someone might have a different opinion than you; be able to cope with the contradictory ideas and gray areas.