Bullying is a topic usually associated with elementary school kids. But my bully found me when I was a college student.
In the twisting and icy maze of my snowy mountain dungeon. That bully would be one of the biggest enemies I faced.
An example of a bully
There's an enemy type in the old video game Super Mario 64 called 'bullies'.
They look like round black balls with shuffling yellow feet with green horns and a narrowed pair of eyes.
When they touch Mario, they inflict no damage. But their primary objective is to shove him off of platforms to inconvenience him or cause him to plummet to an early death.
This was the nature of my bully.
How my bully found me
We were both mascots on our college cheerleading team (true story) and he was one year ahead of me.
I wanted to be him and he knew it. He used that knowledge (and the fact that I was people pleaser willing to do almost anything to earn the approval of friends and authority figures) against me.
After months of mistreatment, lies, hazing - and my own willingness to keep getting shitted on - his actions resulted in me getting kicked off the team... twice.
Worse yet, my self-confidence was shattered. It took me months to realize how the whole situation got so fucked up.
I realized I was a people pleaser
This was one of the most important observations I learned about myself while battling my bully.
Up to that point in my life, I hadn't realized how dependent I had been on the external approval from others.
It was the first time I noticed that relying on others to validate my sense of self could be harmful for me.
It was an important moment of self-awareness I am still grateful for to this day.
In the next entry, I'll complete the story of my bully.