“I’m so sorry y’all,” he says over and over. “He” sounds like Roger from American Dad, and none of us can unhear it. Fortunately, he looks totally normal.

“He” is named Isiah, and it’s his first day at this Waffle House. His crime? Forgetting to put half of our table’s order in. We meet everyone of his million apologies with assurances that it’s fine— and it is. This place has potent air conditioning. We’ve got all day for all I care. Besides. Everyone’s new once; what good would it do to yell?

So we wait. And listen to a kid free styling at one of the booths. And to the two older ladies behind gossiping in what they think are hushed tones. I assure you they were not.

Meanwhile Isiah’s new coworkers give him a harder time than any of us could’ve. They’re playful, but merciless. One of them announces he has a new theme song and proceeds to blast “I Will Survive.” He looks like he might die.I finally stop sweating. The A/C drones on, as do the women behind us. Life’s good.