Automatic thought is used clinically in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT practitioners approach therapy with a focus on what has been deemed the "cognitive triangle."
Simply put, the cognitive triangle theory says that our thoughts, feelings, and actions work together and all impact one another.
Some thoughts are conscious, while others are not. The subconscious thoughts are called automatic thoughts. They are often based on our core beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world.
We can get to some of the roots of our maladaptive feelings and actions if we notice these thoughts. Therapists can use their insight and expertise to help one challenge and manipulate their thoughts to alter the negative and unhealthy ones.
Example of an automatic thought based on low self-esteem, causing disrespect and lateness:
"If I'm running behind, A won't mind because there's no way he is as excited to play with me as I am to play with him."
Before I explain this example, I should give some background information for new readers of my content. I am a member of the BDSM community and choose to offer control of particular aspects of my life to my Dominant, who I will refer to as Sir here. This example also relates to another Dom I occasionally play with, who I will call A.
Sir and I recently talked about the disrespect I showed A when I showed up late for my play sessions with him. I dismissed it as a non-issue, mainly because A didn't seem to be bothered. Each night, or most, A and I met to talk or play at midnight. I got into a routine where I was repeatedly 15-20 minutes late, and he was always really chill about it.
I know now that it was more likely he was being polite.
When Sir learned I was consistently late, he was disappointed in my behavior because I was showing disrespect. I felt awful because I had been utterly clueless about it.
I regularly dismiss things that don't work out as expected. I see them as my loss rather than the other person's. It's hard for me to see myself the way others do. It's as if I am waiting for them to see the one thing that will finally convince them that I'm not as great as they think. So I minimize my worth and neglect to consider my behavior's impact on others.
How to Challenge (And Ultimately Change) Negative Automatic Thoughts
Stop and identify the thought that is causing whatever the behavior or feeling. Focus only on the thought and determine what you feel when you think it.
Write the thought down.
Identify how distressing the thought is from 0-10.
Determine what is flawed in your thinking. Determine the cognitive distortion at play. See the infographics below to help you choose.
Challenge the thought by replacing the distorted thoughts with positive ones. Modify the language you use. Write down the reframed thought.
Check in again on your distress level from 0-10. If you do not feel like the number has gone down, you can try the process again, give it some space and try again later, or reconsider if there was a different automatic thought at the issue's core.
It takes practice but slowly and surely, you'll find your automatic thoughts start sounding more like the reframed thoughts over time.
I challenge you to apply this exercise the next time you have bothersome thoughts, and let me know how it worked for you in the comments!