"Alright Laddie", it was JZ, my divisional manager on the phone. He was Scottish and I am no Irvine Welsh so am not going to bother to write a Scottish accent. Imagine a soft Scottish accent though, from a jovial bloke and you'll have it. JZ gave me my first break and in my eyes was a bit of a legend. I was sat in my car having just finished a meeting. It would have been around the summer of 2006 or 2007.

"Listen up, Stevie. We've got a problem and I think you're the man to fix it. We have had a complaint. 2 consultants have been and the customer is kicking up a fuss and they won't go back. I think he is a bit of a handful. You have a calming effect on people, I need you to go and see them and sort it out for me. Do the whole thing in one meeting. Will ya do that for me?"

"No problem, gaffer", I replied.

Nothing can be that bad, and they weren't complaining about me, so I thought 'how hard can it be'? I rang the colleague in the call centre that had arranged the meeting and got the details. I went off there two days later.

A long, hot drive

It was one of those climate changing, thermometer bustingly hot summer days. The temperature was well into the 30's and I was off on a 2-3 hour drive there and then the same back. On the way, for my 12 o'clock appointment, I was thinking about how I could be back for 5 ish and then maybe go to a beer garden somewhere.

I arrived at their home, parked the car on the street. I never park on the drive. I can't reverse and will inevitably hit something. No one wants their prize begonias smashed by a financial adviser do they? The few times I have done this, I have broken down a) at the office of a company that supplies parts for Land Rover. And B) where the client owned an Aston Martin. Both times, they were existing clients that howled with laughter at the Bravo 2 Zero.

Anyway, back to the story. I approach the front door with the lining of my suit trousers already starting to stick to my legs. It's flipping hot. And it's wide open. No surprise really, it probably lets a through breeze in.

The gentleman appeared in a shirt with the top 3-4 buttons undone. After all, it was hot. And NOTHING else. I could tell the through breeze was certainly having an effect on some swingers.

Keep it cool, Stevie, keep it cool

Hmm... should I say something? I elected not to. I was on a call following a complaint about 2 other advisers. Keep your head down, sort it out and get home to that beer garden!

"Hallo! It's flipping hot innit! I'm Steve from..."

I was invited in and offered a cooling drink. We discussed the refreshing benefits of traditional lemonade and I kept my eyes upwards. They discussed their naturism and how they enjoyed it and how upset they were with the other advisers (one female, one male) that had been and refused to talk with them unless they got dressed. I am getting increasingly uncomfortable as I sat there sweating in my suit and thought about joining their naturist club. There then followed some scenes that are etched on my memory:

• The scene of a man silhouetted in the summer sun with his legs apart in the power stance, pointing at a bird table.

• After walking to a bureau to get a passport out he dropped it in front of me. He instinctively dropped to pick it up whilst I leant forward to do likewise. Nose came perilously close to crack.

• When checking out his roses in the back garden, the mocking howls of nearby kids were also a highlight.

You’re expecting a lesson from this aren’t you?

Well, there is no lesson. It’s just another appointment where we encounter the idiosyncrasies of humanity. I still remember it and probably always will, unlike some other meetings. I got on the car and rang the adviser the had been before. “You bastard”, I said. He guffawed immediately as he knew what had happened. He and JZ had stitched me up and he proceeded to tell me about his encounter. He did buy me a beer for it in the end. One beer for a lifetime of those silhouettes I see every time I close my eyes on a hot day.