This is a story about the mouse infestation I had in my garage a few years ago. One day, I went to the old cupboard (1940’s I reckon) and opened it up to be confronted by a pile of husks from a broken bag of bird seed and a mouse with the fattest cheeks you’d ever seen. It froze, and we eyed each other. It put the seed it was holding down ever so slowly and tried to inch away.

Meanwhile, naturally, I was screaming and running about yelling for my wife. After she had calmed me down and a few days of thinking about how to get rid of the mice, I decided on my plan of action.

Not wanting to kill the little blighters, I’d elected for some humane traps and bought a bag of Maltesers as bait. A big bag. One for the mice, one for me.

3 blind mice

For the next week, I would bait the trap with a Malteser and crush up another one and put it around the entrance to the trap. Sometimes, I didn’t bother putting any around the outside and just bait the inside.

I tried a number of nights and the following morning I’d go out to see if I had any mice to release up the park on the way to work.

If I baited the outside., I would catch a mouse every time! If they tasted the delicious Malteser they would be tempted for more by the smell of it inside.

But, they would rarely eat all the Malteser outside the trap. They wanted the big one! They left the low hanging, erm, Maltesers and went for the dangerous goal.( I get that it’s a mouse and didn’t know it was a trap, so couldn’t have weighed up the danger. But I’m trying to explain something through a story, so bear with, ok my loves.)

All of the mice got released up the park. Which I like to see as some kind of mouse heaven to allay my guilt about separating them from their mouse families. But in reality may have meant they met their end another way. However, two of the mice, both whom ignored the Malteser outside the trap, got in and ate half of the Malteser. Scale wise, this is probably like eating one the size of your head, I don’t know what their last moments were like in that hyperglycaemic state, but i hope they enjoyed eating it all before they died.

The third blind mouse

This reminds me of the almost countless number of times someone who has more than enough money, delays retirement for:

• A redundancy payment

• An inheritance to be paid out

• Whatever else they think they should wait for

Why? You already have enough, the free and easy Maltesers at there to be gobbled up and enjoyed. Yes, you will have more but:

• You will never be able to eat it all! So what’s the point?

• Whilst you sit in the trap (your work) waiting to eat it all, you might die

• Whilst you sit in the trap (your work) waiting to eat it all, your family and friends maybe being take away from you, to the great park in the sky.

Once you have enough money, your goal should be to use it wisely. These mice had enough Malteser and they went for more they didn’t need. Do not be the third blind mouse!

Enough is as good as a feast - proverb