In 2008 I read Mating in Captivity.

It was a fresh and insightful take on what it takes to sustain desire and eroticism in long-term relationships. For many weeks after reading the book, I talked incessantly about the compelling gems I learned from it.

And ever since, I’ve been captivated by the author, Esther Perel. I love her mind, presence, zest for life…yeah, I’m a fan.

Esther Perel is Aging Boldly

In the years after she published her book, Esther, who was already a successful psychotherapist, became a sought-after speaker, podcaster, and powerhouse entrepreneur.

And she did all this at midlife.

She is now 64, even more vibrant and prolific as when she first started growing her media company. I think of her whenever I’m losing steam or when the shitty part of my mind tells me I’m too old to start something new. 

This is what midlife can be. An amazing second act. 

Esther’s perspective on life

Mating in Captivity is a book about sustaining desire in long-term relationships through what she calls unlocking erotic intelligence. Esther identifies the erotic as the fuel for our life force - eros. She attributes this perspective to her parents who were holocaust survivors. 

“My parents didn’t just want to survive, they wanted to revive. They wanted to embrace vibrancy and vitality — in the mystical sense of the word, the erotic…To me, there is a world of difference between “not being dead” and “being alive”. I owe this understanding to my parents.”
~Esther Perel

Embracing the erotic. I love that. This is the essence of aging boldly.