When I was 25, I met Tanguy Stehelin. He was my supervisor when I worked as a legal attaché at the United Nations for the French government. Tanguy, legal counsellor and diplomat at the time, became the political advisor of the secretary-general of the United Nations.

Tanguy gave me an unforgettable piece of advice.

I had study law, international relations and peace building in post conflict countries for 6 years. Yet, everything was pure theory. Discussing and negotiating international agreements on environmental or human rights issues for real was new to me. So, like most beginners, I was making a lot of mistakes: over-assertiveness on topics I thought I'd mastered, short term-strategy thinking, or letting emotions take over. But most of all, it was easy back then to be overwhelmed by the outcomes at stake.

Until one day, Tanguy said something along those lines:

"When the tension rises, remember the bigger picture. Focus on the long-term strategy. Not just the emotions or what is said in the moment"

Today, this sounds undeniable. That day, my whole life changed. At 25, it can be tough to master your emotions and think "bigger". If no one tells you it's possible, it makes it even more demanding.

Beyond negotiations, Tanguy's advice allowed me to take the necessary distance when entering complex conversations and situations. I learned the value of patience and a long-term view. Rather than rushing to resolve complex issues, this advice made me aim for sustainable and fair solutions in life and work. This is an advice I iterate on, over and over.

(Curious to hear from people interested in negotiations what piece of advice or content made a difference in your life?)