This (emotion) is just electrical activity in my head. - Lisa Feldman Barrett, PhD

As a leader, there's often a moment when you feel like someone is really testing your patience.

I've been there, too. Navigating these moments requires more than just instinct - it demands a skill in emotion regulation, a vital component in the toolkit of effective leadership. After all, our teams look to us for steady guidance, especially when things get tough.

Today, I'm eager to share some strategies that have been a lifesaver in keeping my emotions in check.

Keeping Your Emotions Under The Wrap - A Scientific Perspective

In my quest to stay calm and collected as a leader, I stumbled upon a gem: "How Emotions Are Made" by Lisa Feldman Barrett, PhD.

Barrett's exploration into the brain's role in emotion creation - a blend of past experiences, present context, and future expectations - has transformed my understanding of affective states.

It has opened up avenues for more effective emotion control strategies:

1. Naming Emotions

Barrett talks about something called 'emotional granularity.'

It's all about getting really specific about what you're feeling. Let's say I'm feeling overwhelmed with a looming deadline. Instead of just thinking, "I'm stressed," I identify the specific emotions: "I'm anxious about meeting the deadline and worried about the quality of my work."

This clarity allows you to address each feeling separately, perhaps by breaking down the task into smaller steps (easing anxiety) and seeking feedback on your work (addressing worry).

2. Planning Ahead

Knowing that our brains often give us a heads-up about how we might feel, I try to think ahead about what might set me off.

Suppose I know that budget meetings always get tense. Anticipating this, I prepare by rehearsing calm responses or planning a short break during the meeting to collect my thoughts. This preemptive thinking can help me stay composed when the tension rises.

3. (Bonus)"This (emotion) is just electrical activity in my head"

A powerful reminder from Barrett, becomes a mantra for me. Whenever I feel challenged by a difficult colleague or an unexpected turn of events, I recall these words. This reminder helps me to take a step back, recognizing my frustration as a natural brain response, not an imperative to react.

This approach has become one of my secret weapons in regulating emotions!

Mastering your emotions is key in leadership.

It's about understanding the science behind our feelings and using practical strategies like getting specific about emotions and planning for triggers.

These methods have not only helped me grow personally but have also been vital in creating a calm, capable, and emotionally smart team environment.