Yesterday night, my way of talking changed forever.

I had invited friends to stay over in my apartment in person, travelling from Sweden to Poland. First physical meetup since ages ago. During the evening, my best friend said the following to me:

"You should avoid filler-words when you talk and take longer pauses"

Saying things such as "like", "uhm", "I mean", "I think that...", "one could say that...", "it's something that...", "so to speak" dilutes the message, something I have done for a very long time. However, by taking pauses, you allow for reflection, understanding, and greater emphasis on the words you do say. Plus a calmer thought pattern since you are not nervous enough to "fill the air" with something.

I began to notice, avoid the filler words, and see the immediate difference:

I became more deliberate with what I truly wanted to say. Moreover, the pauses had a way of filling the air with grace harmony previously not thought of. I became more relaxed since my body did not attempt to conjure phrases all the time.

I also became a much better listener since I could fully focus on what the other said, and what it could possibly mean. With an allowance for space, it was possible to improvise my own answer later on.

How you can avoid filler words

Let's be honest, it is almost impossible at first to notice them when we talk.

Therefore I recommend you either record yourself, or have an accountability buddy. Next time you meet someone, ask if he/she can notify you whenever you accidentally say a filler word. Then you rephrase what you said. Later you will be able to catch yourself and trim your talking.

You will notice a much greater clarity in thinking, more relaxed body and better relationships.