“Life is growth. You grow or you die.” //Phil Knight, 84 years old, founder of Nike

Throughout our childhood, culture, and religions, we have been promised salvation and to “live happily ever after”. If we could just enter this paradise of no problems, everything would be fantastic.

But this is a mirage, a (quite destructive) illusion.

To prove my point, go to the most beautiful beach in the best weather you can ever think of. Spend a week there without your phone and see how bored you become just after a few minutes.

“What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.” //Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor

The real paradise has challenges, growth, and pain because that makes our lives worth living. Instead of avoiding these stressors (like fragile people), you want to incorporate them into your daily life. After all, they make you stronger, wiser, and personally antifragile, which is what you want anyway.

As the first principle of Total Living states: "You can either enjoy life right now or not at all". Challenges are a feature, not a bug.

How to ensure maximum growth

Although the life circumstances are unique to everyone, you are born with a growth indicator = your negative emotions. Every time you feel doubts, insecurity, confusion, fear, and anxiety, your world is broadened in some way and you can see the path going forward.

Then take action despite your feelings.

I know it is way easier said than done. Therefore, the following mantras help me every day to push past limiting beliefs and self-doubts. Every time you feel particularly scared, try remembering these four:

• "I will become stronger because of this"

• "Now I'm growing, which is fantastic!"

• "It will not get better than this so I might as well make the most of it"

• "I can definitely survive this and thus become unstoppable"

And finally, move forward and listen. All the time.