Instead of adding things that make you feel good, remove things that make you feel bad instead.

In our current times, we are obsessed with the next shiny object, the flashing milestone, and everything we do not have. If we just had that special car, that many followers, this partner, this paycheck, we will be eternally happy, right?

Although these sound good in isolation, they do have side effects. Cars require maintenance. There are downsides to becoming famous. Relationships can be a roller-coaster in itself, and we often fall prey to the hedonic treadmill. Although I'm certainly not advocating for abstaining from these things, it is vital to know that what you seek has its own challenges.

But there is another way:

Via Negativa - The Negative Way

In the masterpiece Antifragile, Nassim Taleb defines Via Negativa like this:

“The principle that we know what is wrong with more clarity than what is right, and that knowledge grows by subtraction. Also, it is easier to know that something is wrong than to find the fix. Actions that remove are more robust than those that add because addition may have unseen, complicated feedback loops.”

To put it simply, you are better off removing what you do not like from your life than adding stuff you like. Rather than adding tons of delicious ingredients to something containing mold, you are much better off removing the mold altogether.

To be personally antifragile, you remove everything fragile in you, everything that breaks under stress. You break down weak muscle fibers by lifting heavy weights so stronger ones can emerge afterward. By exposing yourself to chaos, humiliation, and uncertainty, your fears, false beliefs, and frail identities will be eradicated. Your courage and authenticity will be greatly enhanced.

In summary, if you are not happy with your life right now and seek something desperately, find out what makes you unhappy and remove it.

A recent example of Via Negativa

As I wrote yesterday, I have recently moved into a new apartment. The reason was not to live in more comfort but to escape the things I did not like. From distant landlords to broken beds, taps, refrigerators, and washing machines. Not to mention the smell...

Fortunately, I managed to escape all of these. Because of their absence, I experience tremendous joy all the time now. The happiest days in my life started two days ago.

There are countless examples of via negativa across all domains. Tomorrow's post will give you a few of them.