When I became a manager, I set regular 1:1s with my team members because that's what you're supposed to do, right?

My experience until that point was:

• We'd open with some small talk

• I could then share whatever bothered me

• They'd tell me they'd pass on the feedback

• We'd close with discussions about operational things

If I needed a venting session, these sessions helped. But that was about it. It wasn't much of a discussion.

I'll always remember my first 1:1 as a manager: my colleague thought we were done after 5 minutes. And then I asked about how they saw their career. We ended 30 minutes over time and they seemed fired up—I was onto something.

That's when I realised something: 1:1s aren't just a checkbox—they're essential.

Here are 3 must-have conversations every people manager should have regularly to turn 1:1s into a powerful leadership tool and build thriving teams:

1. Feedback session (looking back)

It's hard to grow or meet expectations without feedback.

In my experience, people want to know how they are doing but managers often fail to provide feedback, either because they forgot or because it was going to be uncomfortable. A focused feedback session is a great way to acknowledge recent successes and reflect on things that did not go as well. If we want our colleagues to grow as fast as they can, we can't afford to wait for annual performance reviews.

It's our duty to help them focus on the right priorities.

2. Career Planning (looking ahead)

"I would like to talk about your career ambitions and see how we can work together to get there."

People love to talk about themselves and their ambitions, as long as it doesn't feel forced. Understanding their aspirations helps you spot opportunities within the company to build their track record. You can also suggest skills they should practice and improve before they would be considered for a promotion.

And maybe they're just happy where they are—not everyone wants to climb the career ladder, and that's totally fine.

3. How Can I Better Support You? (present)

We all need a shoulder to cry on sometimes.

This question creates a safe space: it shows you're invested in their success and want to support them as best as you can. Folks might share personal struggles, workplace frustrations—or even just ask for a raise.

Whatever it may be, resist the urge to jump in with solutions—sometimes, people just need to be heard.

We Must Care

We must care for our colleagues—by paying attention and looking out for them. When people feel supported, they take bigger risks, build new skills, and push the team forward.

And when teams thrive, so does the company.