1 in 6 is a strong-willed kid or teen.

You may feel everything is more difficult with your children. It seems they don't listen to you. They always want to be right, and won't easily take no for an answer.

They may not be defiant, disobedient or tyrannical, but rather strong-willed.

8 features of strong-willed kids & teens

1️⃣ They are very persistent. They debate everything, always wanting to be right. They negotiate everything. They need to have and express their own voice.

2️⃣ They are intense, emotionally extreme, especially sensitive and perceptive. Their mood changes at the speed of light. They are overstimulated by lights, noises (screens...) and get easily infected by the emotions around them.

3️⃣ They are easily distracted and have trouble keeping focus on anything they are not interested in (but they are very capable in whatever interests them, which differentiates them from ADHD).

4️⃣ They are inflexible and lack adaptability. They do not like transitions of place or activity, especially those that do not fit in their plans or they do not control.

5️⃣ They have low tolerance to frustration. They don't like it when things don't go their way, which together with their intensity leads to quite complicated situations.

6️⃣ They are tremendously impulsive the moment they want anything. They have a hard time with first obligation, then devotion/fun.

7️⃣ They lack empathy. They find it hard to put themselves in your place and take into account your needs. So they also struggle to solve problems by collaborating with you, which leads to frequent fights.

8️⃣ They have overflowing energy, especially when they are younger.

There are gradients for those. It's not a black & white or all or nothing issue. Stay tuned for tomorrow's essay if some or most of them resonated with you.

I think I was born strong-willed. That's not the kind of thing you can learn. The advantage is, you stick to what you believe in and rarely get pushed out of what you want to do. —Joan Jett