Why does angel investing become soul-destroying?

+ How to deal with it

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I've seen many angel investors become deflated/burned out.

My background:

• Personal investor in over 100 companies

• 6 years in accelerators (running, mentoring or a founder)

• Launched my first startup in 2010 (+many since)

People herd towards money.

Founders are all smiles and want to be your mates. Yet it is transactional.

At some point, they ask you for money and you’re painfully aware they aren’t here for your personality.

They clearly want something out of you. It feels eww.

You see patterns in every conversation.

Like talking to puppets, you can pull a string to queue the next reaction.

They all have the same underlying neediness.

Some show it on the surface, some hide it well, but you know it’s there.

You can see their problems and are keen to support and help them.

They want you for one thing. Yet you can’t give everyone your money.

It’s like they push for sex on the first night, then ignore you if you don’t put out.

You thought they liked you for who you are 😭

Before you let this crush your soul, don't give up.

Let's look at the other side.

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Being a founder is shit.

Push all of your limits past breaking point, but keep going.

No one will follow you or invest in someone that’s broken. Take a million rejections but keep smiling and don’t give up.

Whilst fundraising in November last year, I lost my short-term memory.

I locked myself out twice in one week and found myself on wrong trains. I didn't even know if I'd eaten or been to the toilet.

I know numerous founders who experienced this and worse.

To raise a round you might need to speak to 100-500 investors.

When you’re struggling to tell your arse from your elbow, it's not possible to remember everyone's name (re: Win Friends & Influence People).

Let alone, maintain any sense of personal relationship with them.

Tersha Willis' fundraising advice saved me:

"When investors say no, they are dead to you.
Push them to a decision quickly and move on politely and immediately.
Your mental health and business depend on it!"

Over-investing your emotions with investors is crushing.

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Unless you’re a psychopath, you have feelings.

The rejections as an investor or as a founder hurt. It feels personal.

You’re not witnessing the terrible side of human nature.

Investors are people, and founders are people.

Most of them are bloody lovely.

When they meet they have different expectations.

No one wants to be rude, reject anyone or get rejected.

Yet the game they are playing requires more rejection and less advice or lasting friendships than most can manage.

Simple as that.

Accept what these needs are.

Setting up expectations and boundaries in advance for yourself and others makes the process more handleable.

If you see any founders or investors having a hard time.

Be nice.