In my everyday life, I rarely swear (out loud).

But I take great joy in collecting Shakespeare's best and most insulting quotes.

Back in the day, I acted in a few plays by the great bard. I fell in love with the cadence and language of (his/her/their?) writings—and was particularly fascinated by the imaginative and descriptive insults peppered throughout different plays.

I've never been one to be combative by swearing at people. It's just not in my nature. But ... it doesn't mean I haven't THOUGHT about it! So collecting Shakespeare's best insults has been a great way to laugh and let off steam.

Here's a list of 5 of my favorite insults by Shakespeare:

“Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon” – Henry IV

(Ever been on a packed train in Europe where hygiene sometimes isn't a priority? Hurl this and you might get some space!)

“More of your conversation would infect my brain.” – Coriolanus

(I can think of a few people I'd love to tell this to!)

“Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!” – Henry IV

(Love it! Each phrase feels like a dart being thrown in a fiercely competitive game. "Take that! And that!")

“You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!” – Henry IV

(There is a whole movie in my mind from this one quote!)

“The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.” –The Comedy of Errors

(This just cracks me up! Hahahahaha!)

Now, go insult your way to laughter!

Can you imagine, in a fit of anger, saying any of these to a person? I think the anger would dry up and you'd both end up in stitches.