Seamus McTier 🚢

"Good Will Hunting" provides a rich metaphor for the intertwined nature of quality and quantity in addiction recovery. Quantity, marked by sober days, mirrors Will Hunting's extensive knowledge, indicating clear progress. Yet, it doesn't wholly capture the transformative depth inherent in recovery.

Sean Maguire embodies the qualitative dimension - his lived experiences, fused with knowledge, lead to profound understanding. Similarly, in recovery, quality embodies personal growth and mindset shifts, akin to experiencing a swan's graceful glide across a pond, rather than merely reading about it.

The film suggests that while sober days hold value, the true power of recovery lies in intertwining these days with personal growth. When one sustains quality sobriety over decades, it carries greater power and depth compared to a shorter period of quality sobriety, even a couple of years. This extended fusion of time and growth imparts a unique resilience, depth, and purpose to recovery. Thus, the essence of recovery is not solely in the count of sober days but in the meaningful integration of these days with personal transformation, especially over extended periods.

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External Triggers

• Triggers prompt strong cravings to engage in addictive behaviors.

• External triggers: people, locations, or objects that remind you of addiction.

  • Locations where addictive behavior occurred.

  • People involved in past substance use.

  • Specific times of day associated with use.

  • Objects related to substance use (e.g., alcohol bottles, drug paraphernalia).

Internal Triggers

• Internal triggers are emotions or thoughts that prompt a desire to use.

  • Negative emotions (e.g., stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness, frustration).

  • Positive emotions that you might want to enhance with substance use.

  • Physical sensations such as pain or discomfort.

  • Thoughts or memories related to past substance use.

Identifying Your Triggers

• Identification involves close attention to thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

  • Keeping a Trigger Journal: Noting time, location, people, activities, and thoughts/feelings during each craving.

  • Reflecting on Past Use: Considering circumstances surrounding past substance use.

  • Practicing Mindfulness: Focusing on the present moment to identify triggers.

  • Therapy and Counseling: Professionals can help identify less obvious triggers.

This is what I say when my addiction tries to co-opt my thoughts and rule my behavior.

Third step prayer

#odaat

#sobriety

During a recent AA meeting, the topic was, 'why don't more people attend AA meetings?' This spiraled into a back slap-o-rama on the dangers of skipping meetings. Some confessed to attending multiple meetings daily, implying that those not in attendance were at risk of 'going back out drinking'. Others apologetically justified their absence with such absurd activities like golfing, only to be met with subtle insinuations that was a slippery slope.

Eh, Yea, I'm Going To Have To Sort Of Disagree With You There....

"going back out" drinking or drugging is not a matter of missed meetings. It’s rooted in the absence of self-honesty, commitment to self-growth, daily self-improvement efforts, and strategies to tackle personal trauma or triggers. It's about failing to liberate oneself from the emotional baggage that many addicts torment themselves with daily.

What keeps ME sober?

Honesty with myself, commitment to recovery steps, having a structured recovery plan, and implementing this plan daily, irrespective of 'bad days'. Even for bad 'weeks' or 'months'. It's about the process.

Let me tell you a story. I've spent the majority of my sobriety not attending AA meetings frequently. After several years of daily attendance, I moved and had a difficult time finding a group that fit. To much negativity and lack of 'growth'; that type of environment does not serve my needs. So, I sought those who "had what I wanted" in sobriety and they became my tribe. Some were in recovery. Many were just good humans. My work required extensive travel, and I couldn't attend meetings as frequently as I had in the past, yet I remained sober, far from being a 'dry drunk'. Never once was tempted or in a dangerous spot. I kept in touch with my tribe by phone, text and email.

What did I do If I wasn't going To Meetings?

I pursued my dreams of entrepreneurship, got married, raised two wonderful children. My focus was on my children, my marriage, my spirituality, and daily meditation. Drinking never crossed my mind, because I had a solid framework for sobriety and my life was absent of influences that might 'tempt' me. I went to meetings occasionally and helped newcomers. I also helped many co-workers directly and indirectly to get sober. A few of them talked to me confidentially about their problems with addiction, knowing I didn't drink. But, they didn't know i was a recovering addict until I shared with them.

My goal in sobriety is to build and maintain a 'spiritual house', the AA program encourages following the 12 steps, maintaining honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness, performing self-examination, admitting wrongs, making amends, and seeking to improve one's conscious contact with a higher power through prayer and meditation. I do that daily. I guess it's similar to those who don't go to church on Sundays, but, they "practice the teachings" daily. I walked the walk. It works for me for the past 34 years. I go to more meetings now in order to help newcomers. My kids are out of the nest, so, I can devote more attention to service work. But, my service work at home is more important.

#odaat

#sobriety

What really defines a "Friend" to you? It's an important definition. Here is my basic framework.

A Friend Listens

A friend is someone you can go to with 'bad news' and know they will listen with empathy. They will try to help guide you through understanding the situation from your perspective and your options.

A Friend Builds You Up

A friend will enhance your best qualities. The help you make the best of the best part of you.

A Friends Behavior Makes You Accountable To Yourself

and they won't tell you why you are stupid or something worse happened to them once. They will help you celebrate and not tell you about the great thing that happened to them. Surround yourself with people who want the best for the best part of you. people who are facilitating your growth and development.

#sobriety

#odaat

#recoveryposse

"Everybody you meet ain't meant to be in your life. It's like a tree. Some people are like leaves on a tree. When the wind blows, they're over there... wind blow that way they over here... they're unstable. When the seasons change they wither and die, they're gone. That's alright, most people are like that, they're not there to do anything but take from the tree and they ain't giving anything back.

Then you got some people who are like branches on that tree. You have to be careful with those branches because they'll fool you. They'll make you think they're a good friend and they're real strong but the minute you step out there on them, they'll break and leave you high and dry.

But if you find 2 or 3 people in your life that's like the roots at the bottom of that tree, you are blessed because that's the kind of person that ain't going nowhere. They aren't worried about being seen. Nobody has to know that they know you, they don't have to know what they're doing for you but if those roots weren't there, that tree couldn't live. You understand? A tree could have a hundred million branches but it only takes a few roots down at the bottom to make sure that tree gets everything it needs. When you get you some roots, hold on to them and the rest of it... just let it go, let folks go."

"Madea Goes to Jail"

In my sobriety journey I have always had multiple "roots" in my life that I can count on. Find your roots and water them. Let the leaves blow away and prune the weak, brittle branches from your life.

"Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss." Lou Mannheim "Wall St."

The Recovery Process Builds Character

The insightful quote from Lou Mannheim in "Wall Street" perfectly encapsulates the concept of character as a lifeline in times of hardship. This is particularly significant for those early in sobriety, a period marked by fear and fresh wounds from substance abuse. The transformative process uncovers an individual's character, which evolves and becomes a crucial source of strength during crisis.

Life's challenges, continually test our character.

It is our character that prevents us from succumbing to the temptation of giving up. Acting as a protective shield, our character serves as a guiding light amid the darkness, helping us navigate through life's abyss.

In essence, our character is not a fixed trait but a always changing quality

shaped by our experiences. It acts as our beacon of resilience and determination, safeguarding us from falling into the abyss of despair. Our character deserves celebration, for it is our unwavering ally against life's trials, demonstrating its true strength in times of adversity.

Online communication has its unique challenges that can sometimes hinder civility. I think this online interaction has crushed our young peoples ability to debate and discuss most topics, particularly those that don't align within their bubble of influence and daily world. Here are some of the things that cause this

1. Anonymity: The sense of anonymity in online communication can lead some individuals to behave more aggressively or impulsively than they would in face-to-face interactions. It's easier to post as SuperLib19 or RedPill2020 than your real name.

2. Lack of non-verbal cues: Online communication often lacks the non-verbal cues present in face-to-face interactions, which can lead to misunderstandings or misinterpretations.

3. Delayed feedback: In some online interactions, there can be a delay in responses, which can cause confusion or frustration and negatively impact civility.

4. Not Listening: reading a reply many people will just look for the message and find the alternative talking points.

5. Yelling and Insults: Keyboard warriors will say things online that they would not feel comfortable saying to someone's face.

Have you found this to be true in your silo? I know it's true for me and I've been guilty of all of these Social Media Sucks symptoms. I am trying to change that and set a better example for my little McTier's and hope it plants the right seed instead of fertilizing the weeds.