My mother has told me on more than one occasion that in order to secure a boyfriend, I had to display some aegyo.
The Korean word, aegyo, as I understood it, based on countless Korean dramas I watched, conjured up cloying displays of femininity or babyishness in order to get something. Like calling males older than you oppa, putting on a higher pitched voice, or using exaggerated expressions for cuteness sake. Yuck.
I always thought of aegyo as pretense until a recent encounter with my boss. I noticed after a few phone meetings that he always ended by saying "bye bye" to me. It sounded so uncharacteristic considering his deep voice, but it was a pleasant surprise.
He's not trying to act cute with me. That's just who he is. He sounds consistent whether it's on Discord or our team chatroom.
My mom equated aegyo with flirting, so I did too.
But I think aegyo just might be the weird self you let out when you feel safe and comfortable around people. Just like I don't mind asking friends for hugs or if I know someone really well, I just stretch my arms out in a T and walk towards them. They know what to do next.
Aegyo isn't something you have to show everyone, but I can attest that doing so helps people open up more quickly. One evening, after I completed a last minute assignment, I texted my boss, "dobby is free now?" to which he joked no. I immediately texted back a sock emoji in rebellion.
Maybe aegyo is affection.
The next day, he wrote, "btw do this with our social media! exactly the personality we want for our brand."