There is a lot of baggage with the term "Leadership".

Many people have so many different preconceived ideas of what it means, and it impacts our ability to Lead well.

In fact, as of 1995, there are over 850 "academic" definitions of "Leadership" (God only knows how many there are today).

This is why I created a different category of "Leadership" - to get away from all the bad baggage that has been pushed.

There is one specific idea in Leadership that causes the most problems though.

The Mistake Made

There is a common line of thought in Leadership.

"If I'm the Leader, that means everyone is watching me."

This is a true thought, and the further in Leadership you get the more true it becomes.

However, it leads to a second thought, what I would call a "Shadow" around the Identity of "Leader" that causes so many problems.

"If everyone is watching me, I need to be, and act, perfect."

This idea, that you need to be "perfect", will only create more and more problems the longer you keep it.

There are other words people use for this thought to avoid the word "perfect", but they are treating those words the same way.

I need to be "better than others" around me.

I need to "prove to others" I'm worthy.

I can show I've "risen above my weaknesses".

I will "turn this into a success".

These, and more, are all just variations of the idea that you need to be "perfect" without using the same word.

The Consequences

By keeping this thought, it will get worse and worse.

The problematic thoughts will grow and add together.

"I'm human, I can't be perfect!"

"If someone sees me falter, they will judge me."

"If I fail too many times, my team will lose respect for me."

"If I can't turn this failure around, it will show others I'm not worthy to be followed."

"If I'm found incapable I will lose my team/lose my business/be fired."

"If I lose all that, I may end up losing my income, my livelihood, and if it gets bad enough my family!"

The thoughts will get worse and worse the longer you maintain them.

Then you will find them to be self-fulfilling prophecies.

Your team will leave.

The people around you will lose respect for you.

You will lose your position and struggle to find anything else.

You could lose your income, livelihood, and worse.

However, there is a way to avoid this.

The Solution

This requires two parts to really work.

➼ Accept Failure as it is - Failure

➼ Show those you Lead that Failure is Acceptable

This is how it needs to play out.

First, you are human!

Welcome, we've been waiting for you.

This means a lot of things, including the fact that you will Fail!

It is literally impossible to not Fail, and the further you get as a Leader, the more often you will Fail!

Accept that you will Fail, and that it is alright.

Don't try to turn a "Failure" into anything else.

It is alright to Fail.

You may learn lessons, or somehow turn that Failure into something good later on, but that isn't the point.

If you don't recognize things as they are, you live in a delusion.

Before you can actually learn, or turn something around, you need to accept the truth.

Failure is Failure, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I literally Fail every single day of my life.

How do I keep going, keep writing, keep Failing, keep growing, and keep getting recognized despite the Failures?

It all happens because I know that I Failed and accept that.

I say to myself, "Oh! I Failed! Cool!"

I am not delusional about Failure, I accept the Failure as it is.

It didn't work, my theory was wrong, I must rewrite something, I have to design a new model, I didn't understand what my client meant, or I said the wrong thing in front of hundreds of people.

Cool!

When I accept the Failure as it is, it loses power over me.

Who cares if something didn't work?

Who cares if I said something wrong, weird, and live on a stage?

Who cares if I made a mistake?

Who cares?

No one - no one cares!

That's the truth of it!

Everyone Fails, we all know it, even if we don't accept it.

At the end of the day, maybe you Failed, and at the end of the day, the only person that will care is you.

Everyone else will completely forget it happened!

Unless you deny it, try to cover it up, or try to make it seem like it was a purposeful stepping stone.

Then people will judge you for it because they already know the truth.

However, when you accept it as a Failure, everyone else does too, recognizing you're a human (just like them) and they forget.

As this happens, a magical opportunity opens up for you as a Leader!

Now that you recognize it's a Failure, and show people you recognize it as a Failure, you now can teach your team that Failure is ok!

This does a lot of amazing things.

People begin to open up when they know it's ok to Fail.

They begin to work to become better.

They actually begin to work harder because they don't have to be perfect.

When you have to be "perfect", you always stay in a comfort zone and refuse to attempt to go beyond it.

People will accept being more accountable for more difficult tasks.

All this and more will become possible.

However, the key is that you need to accept their Failures as they are as well - Failures.

Show them that you do recognize Failures and that it is ok.

Don't hold different standards for different people.

Accept everyone's Failures, and then figure out where to go from that Failure.

There are nearly infinite paths to proceed after a Failure, but you need to accept the Failure for what it is first - a Failure.

Then, all paths become possible afterward.

When Failure holds no power over you, and more so over your team, you get the ability to get into Group Flow States.

That's when the fun really starts!

That's when Legendary becomes possible!