How could I, Vernon "The Quality Coach" Richards, make communication mistakes?!
My boss came to help the organisation change, and he hired me to take on some of that work. The organisation already had a product that was anachronistic, and the pandemic amplified that. Their other products were intriguing and seemed part of a larger plan that looked exciting.
I talked to my boss's boss about an anti-pattern I saw and what I thought we needed to do to improve things. The anti-pattern saw testers being solely responsible for software releases meaning the rest of the delivery team left everything up to them.
I failed to make the change stick, and the practice remained! Here's why.
Coaching skills aren't just for Christmas!
Or, in this case, 1:1 coaching sessions!
Unconditional positive regard, active listening and powerful questions are helpful in situations beyond explicit 1:1 coaching sessions. That's an easy thing to forget or miss! You'll recognise these mistakes when you experience or notice the following:
We're telling ourselves (and even worse, others) villain stories about the person or people we're working with.
We're spending time working on the wrong things.
Your direct reports feel unsupported and unable to perform to their maximum potential.
Not great 😞. Here's how I intend to avoid these mistakes in future.
#1. Build rapport with the most challenging stakeholders inside and outside of your immediate team
Everyone is the hero in their own story! 🦸🏽
An absence of unconditional positive regard can cause you to see sinister motives everywhere. Instead of seeing an ordinary, flawed human being, we overemphasise someone's guilt or stupidity (assuming that's what it is) and tell villain stories. Do this instead:
Assume good intent. Learn about their experience and perspective to see what makes their actions reasonable and understandable.
Remember, everyone is at least 2% right! Find that 2% and build from there.
Notice when you replace individuals with labels. For example, "that clown from project management".
Don't invent awful motives and exaggerate flaws before you've had a chance to create rapport and build a relationship.
#2. Get on the same page as your boss about goals, working styles and methodologies
Make sure you're on the same mission to reduce confusion and increase effectiveness. 🧭
Not being on the same page leads to wasted effort, inefficiency and frustration on both sides. Avoid that by:
Paying attention. What's your boss saying? How are they saying it? What aren't they saying?
Repeating what you've heard back to your boss. Use their words to replay what was said.
Summarising the essential points. Clarify your understanding of the goals by summarising them back to your boss.
Don't charge off in the wrong direction only to find out that's not what was required!
#3. Protect your time with your direct reports.
The team you're leading is your most significant source of leverage, but they won't succeed in a vacuum. 👩🏼🤝👨🏾
As soon as you're in a leadership position, you have lots of demands on your time, and it's easy to skip those 1:1 sessions. The impact on your direct reports and teammates is enormous! They'll feel bereft of leadership, and the organisational goals are harder to achieve because you'll be working as an army of one. Here's how you can prevent that:
Reschedule rather than cancel. Leaving your direct reports without any contact time is like turning out the lamps in a lighthouse.
Use open questions instead of closed ones. This will cause people to think and develop self-awareness and empathy.
Help people think for themselves. Ask questions that expand the perspective of your teammates and help them find their own solutions.
If I'd followed my own advice, I would have understood why my stakeholders had created this process and what caused them to hold onto it so tightly. I would have pursued it in a way that provided more air cover from my boss. I would have been able to delegate this to my teammates, so it didn't require my direct intervention in the first place.
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