When done correctly, active listening is like a superpower!

Being present with people and letting them have the time and space to talk has a lot of benefits. For them and you! It establishes trust, deepens your understanding and makes you more likeable. And I'm sure there are more!

What do we need to do to avoid missing out on all that goodness? Read on!

Mistake #1: Listening to speak

Listen to understand or listen to talk. ⚖️

When we listen to speak, we're focused on ourselves. We aren't engaging with what we're hearing. Instead, we're looking for the earliest opportunity to dazzle with our insight, confound with our unassailable logic or amuse with our wit.

Who does that serve? Often, it's ourselves, and that won't build rapport.

Mistake #2: Being uncomfortable with silences 

As the saying goes, "Silence is golden". 🤐

We don't always have to fill the silence with our own voice. Allowing people to continue their train of thought allows more profound ideas to surface.

Learn to enjoy the silence and see what happens!

Mistake #3: Gettings distracted with thoughts about your own life

This one is impor... SQUIRREL!!! 🐿

We all have a lot going on, especially over the past few years. Empathy can work against us here and cause us to ponder a situation in our lives.

It's natural. Please don't beat yourself up about it!

Mistake #4: Feeling the need to "solve" allTheThings

My wife falls victim to this one 😅

What do people need from you? Are they just after a chat? Venting? Or would they like suggestions for ways forward?

Please don't assume it's a tacit green light to inflict help on them because someone is telling you something!

Don't panic if any of these seem familiar!

Here are some things you can do to combat them:

• Ask yourself, "who does this serve?" before speaking.

• Count to 2 (or maybe more!) before speaking.

• Don't beat yourself up because that's a distraction too!

• Check what people need and offer suggestions.