"Why didn't you find that bug?"
This is a question all testers have been asked at some point in their careers! If you're the one doing the asking, this post is for you!
The desire to understand why something went wrong isn't bad at all. It's obviously a good thing. However, the way you ask could reduce your chances of getting a good answer!
I'm going to create some alternatives to use that might prove more helpful.
Here goes!
What could the team have done differently to help find this bug?
How could we have found that bug before reaching production?
What risk did we overlook that allowed the bug to escape?
How could we have supported you & the team better?
Assuming we had another problem like this, how could we learn about it before our customers?
What factors led to the bug remaining undetected?
Who else could have found this bug?
...and when?
Looking at our process, when was the earliest we could reasonably expect to find this bug?
I followed my curiosity and imagined why an EM would ask such a question.
I avoided using "why".
And for bonus points, I used "we" instead of "you" to emphasise that we're a team!