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Lydi

3mo ago

I write from the space where discernment, emotional intelligence, and ethical leadership overlap — naming the patterns that shape how we lead, speak, and decide. (Based in Southern California.)

Most People Think Pausing Makes Them Look Stupid. Here's Why Trial Attorneys Train Every Client To Breathe Before Speaking—And The 2-Second Method They Use
Lydi

I used to think quick responses meant I was quick.

That hesitation made me look unprepared.

Then I heard Jefferson Fishera trial attorney and communication expert—explain something on Diary of a CEO.

The first thing he teaches every client isn't what to say.

It's when to breathe.

Here's what's actually happening:

When someone disagrees with you, your body registers it as a threat.

Fight-or-flight kicks in automatically.

It's not intelligence talking.

It's your nervous system in control.

Let your breath be the first word you say.

Two seconds in through your nose.

One more quick inhale at the top.

Out through your mouth—then shorten it until it's invisible.

But here's what that pause actually signals:

  • You listened—not just reacted

  • You considered it—not just waited for your turn

  • You checked your answer—so they can trust what comes next

The pause isn't weakness.

It's visible proof your brain is driving—not your nervous system.

The breath is the space between stimulus and response.

Next time someone says something you disagree with—before you react—

Take the breath.

Two seconds in.

One more at the top.

Out.

Then speak.

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