Did you know that humans are designed to be lazy?

Back in days when we lived in caves, we learned to conserve energy as we never knew when our next meal would appear. Our ancestors' legacy means we instinctively reject anything that seems 'hard work'.

Which explains small talk - a conversation we're supposed to magic out of thin air without the usual conversational architecture to rely on:

Telepathy Whether it be at home, work or play, the tribes we belong to share a telepathy of how to be, do and communicate. There may be no instruction book but we know where we stand, and how we fit in (or not.) Small talk on the other hand, provides no sense of belonging.

Topics Where do we start? The immediate topic is the one that brings us together - the conference or wedding or flight - but that can soon dry up once we've exhausted the obvious questions. So, we try other subjects, flitting like a bee in search of conversional nectar before giving up and resorting to the evergreen: "And what do you do?"

Tone Our tone stems from our persona - enthusiastic colleague, reliable friend, innovative entrepreneur - but small talk strips us of any identity, leaving us unsure of who we're supposed to be. So, we end up playing it bland, playing it safe. Which is boring. And explains why nobody wants to play the small talk game, right?