I've only just realise how often I use the word "should" and and how much I hate it!

My morning journaling session have became lists of things I hadn't done that I could beat myself up about. The highlighting of this shows the powerful insights journaling can provide you with.

I'm now on a mission to eradicate "should" from my daily vocabulary.

It's Only A Word

Why such a reaction to these 6 letters?

I've realised that any time I'm thinking in a "should" mindset, it's not really me thinking this. Each time I use this, I'm playing the part of someone else, who is looking down on me, delivering the line with a mixture of pity and disappointment.

It's no one person in particular but they are in my ear with their judgement all the fucking time.

The Should Of The Past

If it's used about something that's happened, I can't do anything about that.

The time has passed, and now all that resides from this is the guilt of somehow letting myself, and who knows who else I've dragged into the drama down.

The horse has bolted, with the only take away being a heavy heart.

The Should Of The Future

If it's used about something in the future, the activity is now contaminated with the feeling of duty or obligation.

When guilting myself, I ask myself if I would talk to my children in the way I'm talking to myself. The should of the future says "I should play with my child."

How would that child feel hearing that?

Change Should To Could

The secret is to change "should" to "could".

From obligation to opportunity, we present ourselves with choice - something we decide, instead of being sentenced to.

We become responsible for the decisions we make.