Matt Faris

How much of our day is spent getting through it - cruising along in survival mode?

We have our armoury of automatic responses to streamline situations we have played out hundreds of times.

As we navigate the adult world full of duties and obligations we fool ourselves into believing what we are doing keeps the world turning.

It's all so logical, practical.

But that's not how our children see it.

Saving Time Isn't Investing Time

A child's perception of priority is a wonderful lesson to us adults.

As I juggle my hundred "important things to do right now" my daughter wants to tell me about something that happened at school, my son wants to show me his latest Lego creation or my youngest wants to play puppies.

I can save time by telling them I'm busy.

Saving time, I wade through my jobs with that added weight of something trivial trumping my child's reaching out to me.

But if I invest my time the reward is significant..

For 5 minutes, which is only 300 seconds - I have a child who feels listened to, safe, loved, secure, empowered.

Time passes so very quickly as your children pass through their different developmental stages.

You never know when your last bedtime story will be or Lego will suddenly be discarded until you are looking at it through the rear view mirror.

The time you spend, you can never get back.

The time you invest will create indestructible diamonds which can never be stolen.

Whatever you want to achieve, there's a thousand voices telling you "how to" achieve this.

We’ve all been there—clicking on the latest ‘how-to’ video, opening yet another self-help book, or diving into podcasts—desperately chasing the secret formula that promises to change everything in 21 days, a week, or even 10 minutes. But here’s the thing: those shortcuts rarely deliver, and the dream ends up further away than when we started.

To add insult to injury, you're told it's because you mustn't have followed the instructions properly.

One Size Doesn't Fit All

I have 3 main problems with these promises.

• Everyone has a different starting point. The advice being given is from someone at a different beginning to you.

• What if you hit a road block. You find your next step is the other side of a 15 foot wall and there's no instructions for getting over this.

• Maps are political. Their map is built on their beliefs and perceptions not yours.

Instead of blindly following, we each need to take responsibility for our own journey.

Get A Compass

I have craved the genie-style "wish is my command" to play the guitar in 21 days, 10 pull ups in a week, solve the Rubik's Cube in 10 minutes.

But it never works.

I've realised that, while I can use some of the undoubted wisdom shared in this kind of content, I have to find my own way, not passively follow. In striving to find my own way, solve the challenges I come up against, make the journey in my own unique way, I'm learning more about myself, I've done it my way. (Feel free to break into song at this point!)

Everyone's North Star is different.

Finding Clarity in Your North Star

A compass means you navigate around any obstacles, constantly reorienting always keeping your objective in mind.

The twists and turns you travel create opportunities, unexpected learnings, adventure.

The journey becomes as important as the destination.

Each challenge you face along the way is a chance to grow in ways you never dreamt of.

"I'm fucked! I'm never going to get what I need!"

I'm back in my Glamping Pod as part of a residential for young women from Dublin and Belfast. We're delivering workshops and capturing their voices in a short film - what they want to tell the world. The burden feels massive - I'm the one with the camera.

Staring at the ceiling I tell myself "I'll just get something, anything."

The next morning - a wall of energy as I walk into the workshop space.

Excited young people with boundless energy. I feel like I'm drowning. Through the noise, I capture some interviews. I'm started, getting something.

We head to our first activity of the day, bush skills.

Taking The Time To Receive

Heading out into nature I can breathe.

I get chatting to a 16 year old young women. It's a big group and I haven't had the chance to really find out about everyone. She tells me she's just done a photography project in her community about substance use .

"It's a real problem. It's everywhere."

I learn her work's been exhibited, been championed by the Irish Prime Minister. My worries are destroyed by this courage.

"How did I not know this about you?"

The girl shrugs her shoulders, but I can see how proud she is of this.

Seeing The Wood For The Trees

I have been so caught up in the result of the project that I have lost sight of the "why" of the project.

These young people have to share and teach. This is the reason for the project. My ego has obscured this from me.

It's about connection with these young people, enabling them to tell their stories.

Conclusion

The rest of the day is about having incredible conversations with these amazing young people. I hear their challenges, victories, hopes and fears.

It's always about the bigger picture when we are creating - a picture so very much bigger than we can imagine!

Each and every person is creative.

We each have our own unique view of the World. What we have experienced, seen, heard, creates this World View. We then create the words we say, the actions we take and our thoughts. With these we navigate through the day.

Understanding this give us the power to understand where our creativity comes from, how we can use it to make sense of ourselves and share it to connect to those around us.

Creativity For Inner Exploration

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" 

Creativity is problem solving. We do this to the best of our ability, with what we know. To better this we have to continually develop this skill.

A simple way to do this is to look at any challenge you face and how you deal with it. Map out the chain of events that lead to the problem. From this we can creatively think of ways in which we can change one of the events leading up to the challenge and as a result change everything.

Doing this we get to know understand ourselves better, realising our creativity gives us opportunity for change.

Creativity For Outer Connection

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued."

Everything we do is a creative expression of who we are. The words we use, the actions we take. These are all ways we tell our story. It is the sharing of these stories that creates connection.

These connections create meaning in our lives.

"I give up. I've tried everything."

We've all been there and felt this. At a deadlock. Lost for what to do. Beaten by whatever situation we are facing - a feeling that hits us when we've exhausted all our options.

An ancient principle from Nichiren Daishonin, a 13th-century Buddhist monk, offers a path through this deadlock.

Three Thousand Realms In A Single Moment

The principle of Ichinen Sanzen teaches that at each moment we have 3,000 possibilities. Every moment in our lives holds countless possibilities for change.

Putting this in context, if you tried all of these possibilities, each attempt being just 10 minutes, it would take you 21 days (without sleep) to complete.

So any time I fall into "shut-down" mode I remind myself I'm not even 1% of the way through these 3000 possibilities.

No Time For Deadlock

Knowing there are countless other opportunities keeps me from falling into inaction.

Focus swiftly moves from the latest attempt to what I can do next. Instead of the heaviness of stalemate I'm filled with the thrill of "Where to next?" I know I'm one step closer to discovery.

Each effort holds a lesson we carry forward, inching closer to discovery.

When I was 16 my dad got me my first job on a building site.

I was suddenly making money, surrounded by adults, who had their lives worked out. They were older and smarter than me, a teenager who had no idea what to do with my life.

That's what I thought anyway.

My First Lesson

I sat beside Joe Fisher who had been in the industry for a long time, and had an air of "knowing the ropes".

Some 35 years later, I still remember Joe coming in one Monday morning. He sat down at his desk, looked at his watch and proceeded to do nothing. This went of for 10 minutes. I had to ask.

"What are you doing Joe?"

Listen And Learn

"I don't start work until 8" he declared.

"I'm paid to be here from 8 to 5. 15 minute break in the morning, 45 minutes for lunch and another 15 minutes in the afternoon. They won't get anything more out of me."

Right there I learnt something invaluable.

Make Sure You Do What You Love

Even at 16 I knew I didn't want to be like Joe.

My father who was in the same office loved what he did. Every day he went in believing he was making a difference.

To some It may only have been a building site, but he threw himself into every challenge, hungry for the win. At the end of each day he loved reporting his victories. He was proud.

"I'm lucky. I love what I do. Make sure you do what makes you happy son!" He wasn't lucky. He made this all himself.

I'd love my father to be here today to tell him how much I love what I get to do every day!

I've only just realise how often I use the word "should" and and how much I hate it!

My morning journaling session have became lists of things I hadn't done that I could beat myself up about. The highlighting of this shows the powerful insights journaling can provide you with.

I'm now on a mission to eradicate "should" from my daily vocabulary.

It's Only A Word

Why such a reaction to these 6 letters?

I've realised that any time I'm thinking in a "should" mindset, it's not really me thinking this. Each time I use this, I'm playing the part of someone else, who is looking down on me, delivering the line with a mixture of pity and disappointment.

It's no one person in particular but they are in my ear with their judgement all the fucking time.

The Should Of The Past

If it's used about something that's happened, I can't do anything about that.

The time has passed, and now all that resides from this is the guilt of somehow letting myself, and who knows who else I've dragged into the drama down.

The horse has bolted, with the only take away being a heavy heart.

The Should Of The Future

If it's used about something in the future, the activity is now contaminated with the feeling of duty or obligation.

When guilting myself, I ask myself if I would talk to my children in the way I'm talking to myself. The should of the future says "I should play with my child."

How would that child feel hearing that?

Change Should To Could

The secret is to change "should" to "could".

From obligation to opportunity, we present ourselves with choice - something we decide, instead of being sentenced to.

We become responsible for the decisions we make.

"To be a true artist you must focus on one art form and master it."

Working in different disciplines, I have struggled with this idea. The "Jack Of All Trades, Master of None" adage has weighed heavily on me. But recently I've realise this is actually my super-power.

Here's why:-

Point 1 - A bunch of keys

If you only have one key, you can only open one door.

Working with different art forms is like having a massive jailer-style bunch of keys. Every project is the opportunity to unlock what I am trying to express using these different keys.

Written word, photography, movement, audio, video, provide different ways of interrogating whatever subject I'm grappling with and provide different view points.

From this kind of multi-disciplinary approach a more immersive experience is created.

Point 2 - all rivers lead to the sea

It is naïve to think that one takes away from another.

Using one discipline informs the others. By becoming a better writer I strengthen my directing skills. Taking a photograph I'm honing my writing skills.

All these creative outputs fill the artistic well that exists within each of us.

Point 3 - more skill sets more work

The more skills you have to offer, the more employable you are.

Finishing on a practical but necessary note, we cannot escape for the reality of needing to get paid. I would rather get paid delivering a creative project than expending my energy on a job to subsidised my creativity.

These different disciplines enable me to be a full time creative - I don't have to clock in to a call centre or wait on tables while waiting to be given permission to create.

As a creative, I find myself lost at times, like I'm making no progress. With this comes frustration, a feeling of failure and wasted time on pointless projects.

Striving to change this, I recently came across the concept of compound interest. I knew this as a banking term, something using maths - a realm I am not comfortable in, but have since realised its potential in my creative work and the impact of small daily progress.

So here is a formula PROVING how those seemingly insignificant efforts reap massive rewards.

1% better each day

The Maths: 100 * (1 + 1%) ^ 365 = 3,778.34 or 37.78x

Starting at 100 (100% of what you know/can do at that moment), 1% increase every day will mean you end with 3,778.34 or 37x improvement after a year.

How To Use This

Imagine you are looking to improve your film making skills. There are lots of components, as with any Art Form - technical knowledge, lighting, sound, movement, editing, colour grading.

If you are stuck for how to break your artform down, AI is perfect! You can use a prompt like this:-

I want to improve my film making skills. If film making were a curriculum list 10 topics that would be covered. Under each of these list another 10 things that I would need to know for each category.

Focus on one of these areas for that 1% improvement.

The next day do the same. Be deliberate.

In 3 months you'll be 2.45 times better, 6 months you'll be 6 times better. After that the compound interest will really skyrocket!

My Take Away

Compound interest can be used in ALL areas of your life - personal, family, fitness, work, relationships.

If I keep this concept in mind, I never feel stuck.

So the kids are back at school. Looking at my calendar I have a pretty free week in terms of meetings, so there will be a lot of work done from home.

Or will there be?

For many, the concept of working from home is the promised land. Every day can be a pyjama day. No one is going to nick your lunch from the fridge. You can sneak a power nap in whenever you want.

But for me, it's a struggle.

I'm surrounded by distractions! My best intentions are soon left in tatters as I rush to the school pick-up, frustrated that "I've done nothing" today.

I have in fact done lots of things - but it's all been piecemeal, with no clear idea of what on my to do list is the most important use of my energy.

In a fit of frustration I jumped onto YouTube to "research" how I could counter this and found something called "Cinema Mode" and being a film lover, this obviously peeked my interest.

Cinema Mode is used to prepare for a long period of focused work. Similar to going to spend 2 hours watching a film, you treat the task ahead in the same way. A trip to the toilet, stocking up on snacks and liquids and once you are at your desk the switching to airplane mode of devices and pausing of notifications.

This concept resonates with me. I plan to break tomorrow into 3 "cinema" sessions where I deep dive into the work that needs done (scheduled the night before) and immerse myself , eradicating the frustration of being pulled between so many different tasks.

I browse twitter and am stopped dead by a tweet. It's so opposed to my world view that I dive into the comments, scrambling to find others that will push back against this and reinforce my view. Scrolling the replies is a rollercoaster, "Yes, Yes, That's it... What? Idiot... On Point...Are you for fucking real... Yes, thank you.... Ahhh, you've got to be joking!" People's opinions are everywhere.

If you are describing someone as opinionated you probably aren't complimenting them. So why is this seen as such a negative? Should we not welcome people's views?

The problem doesn't lie in people having an opinion. After all "Opinions are like arseholes, we all have them." We only get into difficulties if we believe there is no room for other people's views.

As I continue my on-line writing challenge, I have given me the opportunity for self-reflection - a chance to try and understand myself a bit better. The on-line part of this has meant challenging the ego and sharing my messy growth with the World. I'm now realising how important this is in the journey.

I have needed to check my reason for sharing these opinions. Am I putting stuff out there for likes and self-gratification - coming from a "what will others want to hear" perspective? Am I putting stuff out there realising that it's all work in progress? With the push back on what I share, do I go on the defensive or do I take this opportunity to hear another view point and deepen my understanding?

So I aim to celebrate the sharing of my opinions, the embracing of others opinions and the rich discussions that are born from this.

I'm online doing frantic research for the best ear buds. I have headphones but with the buds I can keep one in at all times allowing me to stay tuned in to whatever YouTube video, podcast or audiobook I'm listening to as I navigate my daily tasks.

It rules out any potential of being left with a void to fall into.

What is it that scares me so much about this?

On reflection it seems insane that I want to multi-task between listening to something while interacting with my children for example. And this is just an example of a wider problem.

It feels like we are all "on it" twenty four seven. Another notification. Flick, flick, flick through TikTok or YouTube shorts. Refresh our X/Twitter Feed.

Amidst all this, we have no down time. No time to be bored.

And that is, without wanting to sound too dramatic - TERRIFYING.

Where is the space for use to be alone with our thoughts, process our lives, the challenges and triumphs, the loves and the losses, the fear and the hope.

And who are we tuned in to? What messages and agendas are moulding and setting our precious lives?

We owe it to discover who we are, to understand what is truly important to us, to celebrate the role that only we can play in this world, at this time.

This moment of revelation is interrupted by Daisy, my 4 year old dog, who has had enough of me pontificating about such things. It's time for her walk. I put the lead on her. Reaching for my headphones I catch myself, leave them down, and stride out of the house. I'm suddenly filled with energy.

I'm going on an adventure with my dog, excited to see what I can discover.

Schools are back, and with that some routine. I need to make the most of the few hours this gives me.

Here are 5 things I schedule into each day to protect my creativity.

Learning

To keep things fresh, you need to learn.

This learning needs to be deliberate, with a start and end point. There needs to be some kind of curriculum. Time for this needs to be blocked into my calendar.

It can't be theoretical learning. For it to be creative, I need to have made something with what I learn.

Fitness

The mind and body work as one.

The time you spend looking after your body will lead to massive gains in your creativity. Improved focus, better sleep, enhanced neuroplasticity, self-discipline - the impact cannot be understated.

Journaling

20 minutes of brain dumping at the start of each day will unearth so many different threads of thought that you can then pull on with your creativity, opening up so many questions for you to answer.

Planning

Time is precious, so know how you are spending it.

Mark Manson, in "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck" says for every minute you spend planning, you save 10 minutes. Each evening, spend 10 minutes planning what you will do tomorrow. This will save you almost 2 hours a day.

Daily Creative Challenge

Give yourself a 15 minute creative challenge each day.

This can't be related to any "work" you are doing. You can doodle, draw, write a poem, take photographs, sing - anything. You can change this each day, can set it as a week challenge or longer. The main thing is, it's a freesytling of your creativity that is unrestricted and free of any output.

It's creating for pure joy.

Checking My Focus

"Ditch the resistance band and do a full body-weight pull up." I'm told.

My brain isn't given time to panic. A foam block is placed between my knees. "Keep pressing against that."

Instead of focusing on the bar, I'm thinking of the block as I crack out 4 strict body-weight pull ups for the first time in years.

My focus is fully invested on the practical actions I need to win over the challenge I am facing.

TAKE AWAY - Is my focus on the challenge or how to overcome it?

Fear Of The Future

I've been thinking a lot about legacy.

Writing this, I fear what people will think. This removes me from creating.

I worrying about the kids starting back to school with big years ahead of them, so I miss signals from them of what they actually need.

I torture myself with who I'm supposed to be, forgetting to celebrate who I am.

TAKE AWAY - Time spent future-fearing places me outside this moment and all the answers it has to offer.

The Root Of Behaviour

My children are my greatest gifts and greatest teachers.

It's been a challenging summer. Buttons well and truly pressed. My kneejerk reactions fuelling instead of resolving, too entrenched in my worldview.

When I hold the space I realise each action has a motivation. To understand this is to understand the person standing in front of me.

I find a second wind, a reason to keep going, an opportunity to understand more and deepen my connection with my children.

TAKE AWAY - If I bring this mindset into my everyday interactions, my world will be a happier and more fulfilling place.

We live at a time of unlimited resources, where anything can be learnt online.

For all its benefits, there are negatives to this. The most destructive of these is information overload - being incapacitated by choice.

That's where the 50/50 rule comes in to play.

Create Your Curriculum

To begin, you need some kind of structure or you will be pulled in all kinds of directions.

Start by understanding 5 to 10 fundamentals of your subject. How do you find these out? Artificial Intelligence.

Given the right prompt ChatGPT can create a whole curriculum for you if you give it the right prompt.

Here's one I created for Basket Weaving - purposely obscure!

I want to learn basic basket weaving. I will have 1 hour a week, and want to be able to make a basic basket in 10 weeks. Create a curriculum for me that will take me through the basics of basket weaving in that time. I have no previous experience. Give me the main learning point at the end of each session. Split the curriculum into 50% theory and 50% practical.

On To The 50/50 Rule

ChatGPT will give you a headline for each of the weeks. Once you have this, you know what subjects you need to study.

Your time will be divided up. 50% will be used researching the specific topic. The other 50% will be used putting this into practise.

You now have a focus for the research time you have. Over and above this you can wander off the beaten track but you will have a clear direction for your scheduled learning that will see you learn that new skill!

"If You Don't Sing Your Demons, Your Demons Will Sing You" proclaimed the sign above the workshop.

It's 1995 and I'm working with the Roy Hart Theatre in France. The company is founded on the work of Alfred Wolfsohn, a soldier in the First World War. Haunted by the agonising cries of the injured men that lay around him in the trenches.

Wolfsohn spent his life trying to understand where these sounds came from - a primal, guttural, baseness that striped away societal conditioning.

The quote clings to me, reminding me each time I step forth on another creative adventure. It turns what too many in this part of the world see as "a wee art project" into a fight of life or death.

The Power Of Art To Explore Our Darkness

Art provides us with the opportunity to dive into the darkness.

We explore the "ugliness" that terrifies those we live amongst. We shine a light on the taboo. We actively engage in discussion that disrupts and unnerves. We embrace that which exists in us all, but were are guilted into hiding away like a dirty secret we should be ashamed of.

In admitting its existence we create commune with those who step with us into the space, and the weight of this penance is lifted.

We need to make sure we sing our songs, at this time, in this World.

There always seems to be a restlessness within me, an incapacity to sit where I am, with what I have and be content.

I need to set myself challenges, fill my head with something, instead of just being. I've done film making challenges, photography challenges and now I'm on a 30 day writing challenge.

Here's what I've learnt from each of these.

The Film Making Challenge

I set myself the aim of making a YouTube video each Monday after dropping out of a Masters in Film Making.

My aim was to learn the craft.

My biggest benefit was networking - finding people who connected with what I was doing and wanted to collaborate. I was suddenly surrounded by people who just wanted to create, in such a pure and authentic way.

It was such an exciting, creative time with such wonderful, creative people that I learnt so much from.

The Photography Challenge

I started this as I was facilitating a photo journaling project and had bought myself a new Fujifilm xt3.

My aim was to practise what I preached in the workshops, and learn my way around my new camera.

The outcome was to put a new energy into my life - each day setting out on a mission to find out what story to tell in one frame.

The Writing Challenge

I am 10 days into this challenge.

I want a bit of clarity - personal - understanding my own thoughts - and professionally - were to go next with my work. 've always loved writing and recently haven't given myself time to focus on it. If nothing else, the next 30 days will do that for me.

Each day I will create and that is something to celebrate!

"Why bother. Tomorrow you could be dead."

A group of us are talking about going to the gym. Some are advocates, others scorn what they see as nothing but an exercise in vanity. I'm caught off guard by the last shot, and surprised at my reaction. Reflecting on my reaction, I realise that it is so far from my truth of why I exercise. For me, the gym enhances the quality of my life.

Working out is as much about the spiritual as it is the physical.

Mind-Body Mastery

Body and mind are inseparable.

In the Gym you strengthening this. A complex exercise, say a deadlift needs you to run diagnostics on your alignment, muscles engagement, position of your feet. Your body and mind are in full conversation.

This physical challenge might be your only opportunity that day to consciously strengthen the mind-body connection.

Mental Fortitude

The gym is a serious of challenges you set yourself.

You are operating at the very edge of your comfort zone, striving to push through to new frontiers.

You are training yourself to be resilient, bringing this same attitude into the day ahead.

Community

Find a gym that has community.

You come together with like minded people, who are striving to develop. They will support your victories. You will support their victories. You will understand what it has taken for each other to break through obstacles.

It's about the bigger picture. One person's victory is everyone's victory.