I recently came across a powerful concept while listening to The DOSE Effect by TJ Power:

Happiness = Reality - Expectations

This idea isn’t new. Tom Magliozzi, co-host of Car Talk, put it plainly:

“Happiness equals reality minus expectations.”

Morgan Housel expands on this in The Psychology of Money and his blog post Some Things I Think:

“Happiness is the gap between expectations and reality, so the irony is that nothing is more pessimistic than someone full of optimism. They are bound to be disappointed.”

This principle explains why so many of us feel like we’re falling behind—even when we aren’t.

🔹 Social media skews reality, making others’ curated lives seem normal while making ours feel insufficient.
🔹 Ambition is great, but unrealistic expectations can turn even success into disappointment.
🔹 We assume happiness lies in the next promotion, purchase, or milestone—until we get there and realize it’s fleeting.

Oliver Burkeman, in The Guardian, shared a brilliant example:

On a flight, he was given a menu with three meal options, including pasta. But when the time came, the pasta wasn’t available. He wasn’t particularly hungry or a devoted pasta fan, yet the thought of having it, followed by the disappointment of not getting it, made him frustrated.

Had the option never been presented, he wouldn’t have minded.

🔹 Our dissatisfaction doesn’t come from what we lack, but from what we expect to have.

So, how do we apply this?

Lower expectations? That sounds pessimistic.
Increase reality? That’s exhausting.
Shift focus? That might be the key.

Instead of obsessing over what we don’t have, what if we trained our minds to appreciate what we do have?

📌 The real trick to happiness? Managing expectations—not just chasing better realities.

🚀 What’s one expectation you’ve adjusted that made you happier? Drop a comment!

📬 Want more daily reflections?
Find all my essays at DailyReflections.beehiiv.com

♻️ Repost to help others rethink happiness.
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#happiness #mindset #expectations #psychology #ship30for30 #dailyreflections

The Simple Formula That Explains Why You Feel Unhappy (And How to Fix It)

I recently came across a powerful concept while listening to The DOSE Effect by TJ Power:Happiness =

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