“They didn’t love me for who I am” - words uttered with very little self-reflection, heard the world over, whenever a relationship comes to an end.

“Shame on them; you’re better off without them” - the peanut gallery convinces their crestfallen comrade in a pity puddle worthy of a puke bag.

What our poor antagonist (and their band of sullen troops) misses is that deserving to be loved for our whole selves implies a level of perfection and completeness that is simply unrealistic. In reality, we are all imperfect and constantly evolving individuals. Therefore, it may be more realistic and meaningful to focus on loving and being loved for specific qualities or aspects of ourselves.

This approach acknowledges that we all have strengths and weaknesses, and that we are all works in progress. It also allows for a more authentic and genuine form of love, as it is based on a deep understanding and appreciation of specific qualities, rather than an idealised image of the whole person.

Relationships, ultimately, hold up a mirror to us. They show us where our deepest insecurities lie, and when done right, help us work towards becoming the best versions of ourselves.