This is a story of how a hiatus derailed my creative journey and why showing up is the only way forward.

I had a remarkable first half of 2022 right up to summer. 

• I finished the last of my Ph.D. coursework.

• I got my dream position in training and development at my university.

• I completed the Ship 30 challenge, writing 30 essays in 30 days. (surprising myself!) 

• I finally visited home after 2 years and surprised my family.

Right before I left, everything was in a good place. 

• I had a routine that put me to work. 

• I had a routine that gave me rest 

• I was closely connected to my creatorpreneur friends, who supported each other's journey. 

But today I felt like starting from ground zero again. And it is frustrating. 

After my travels, I was completely derailed from my regular routine. I stopped creating and even stopped being in touch with my creator friends.

During this time, I was battling two opposing ideas.

On the one hand, I needed this break. I needed to let summer be summer.

On the other, as I am breaking my consistency. The longer I go without creating, the more I will need to catch up. And hell, it is true.

When I got back, it took me a moment to get back to my routine and reach out to my creator friends. It's difficult because we all serve as a form of reminder and accountability to each other creative pursuits. When I was not creating, I didn't feel I belonged anymore. 

It took a while before I started to show up again to the Creative Work Hour sessions that I found much joy in participating in. 

When the Ship 30 August cohort started, I procrastinated on the onboarding and shipped a day late. I was not as prepared as I was back in April.

But the only way to change this circumstance is by showing up.

Just like today, I almost didn't write. So I decided to write about my feelings and where I am right now.

I believe that is a form of showing up.

If you relate to this, I'd love to hear from you about how you talk to yourself on the way to getting back on track.