Wai Ling Fong

Today I turned 38. 

And every year, I like to reflect on the previous year on my birthday.

This year, I framed my reflections on the intentional decision mindsets that I have adopted since my last birthday, which also changed the trajectory of my life. 

Decision #1 Investing in myself

I decided to invest in courses that were meaningful and interesting to me for the first time last year. It wasn't an easy decision running on a tight budget as a graduate student, and it was tempting to learn for free with the abundance of information on the internet. 

The mindset that helped me to shift to investing in myself is that doing it alone will take longer and with more mistakes. 

Why not learn from those who have already done it? 

I quickly learned that I wasn't just gaining the course knowledge but finding belonging in communities that value the same thing I do. The adage "came for the course, stay for the community" rings true. The people I have come in contact with through my investment are invaluable to my evolution. 

Decision #2 Trusting my gut

I wrestled with competing voices between my rational brain and my heart (or gut) all my life. It led me to a lot of time wasted and doubting myself. 

Then I decided to experiment with letting my gut lead.

Anytime I want to do something, I tune in to my gut. 

Decision-making boils down to either a yes, or a no.

Anything ambivalent is a default no. I also give myself time when making big decisions; the gut is the decider.

As a result, I learn to trust my inner authority and boost my self-confidence. 

Decision #3 Not seeking permission

I was a very compliant kid growing up. Everything I did was somehow dependent on someone's permission.

I never realized it was debilitating me way into adulthood. Everything became liberating once I decided I did not need permission in my life's decisions. 

There are no rules and no limits in life, to begin with.

Plus, there's the saying that it's easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. 

As a multi-passionate creator, this became my green light in everything I pursue. 

The results of these mindset decisions are unfolding, and I have yet to arrive wherever I want to be.

However, I could see how these decision mindsets have steered me in entirely new directions, mostly in good ways.

And I am thankful.

As a content creator, I am deeply passionate about finding the answer to this question;

How do I become a purposeful creator in an age of rapid mindless consumption?

I define a purposeful creator as someone who is intentional about their creation.

Purposeful creators are deliberate with creating content aligned with their values and aim to contribute something beneficial to the broader good.

The number of likes and followers does not sidetrack purposeful creators. Instead, they create to serve.

Additionally, purposeful creators create content that they enjoy. They pursue the content creation journey like a craft. They build because it makes them happier, better individuals.

In today's age of rapid consumption, even the best content on any platform, which would have taken hours to build, is consumed and moved on within seconds. It is undeniable that content creators are fighting for their audience's attention span. A second longer could mean better sales lead or exerting influence. Content creators are fighting to hold on to a second longer.

I struggle with this because as someone who advocates for intentional content consumption, I wonder if being a part of the creator's economy means also I am contributing to the habit of fast and mindless consumption.

I am still exploring this topic, and if this also resonates with you, I would love to hear how you are intentional about being a purposeful creator in your own definition.

Many of us chose to embark on this content creator's journey to pave an alternative road of making a living for ourselves. The idea of being rewarded and getting recognition for our talents promises fulfillment.

However, the road to being a full-time content creator is also riffed with an endless hustle culture. It can be draining too quickly, too soon if we are not deliberate about why we are creating in the first place.

A friend on vacation in Canada sent me a picture of her holding a wine glass amidst the Toronto skyline 1,151 feet above ground. Around her was a stunning 360 view of the city of Toronto.

She said she had initially wrestled with the decision to go to the 360 restaurant and to access the CN Tower’s Main Observation floor, which is Toronto’s famous attraction.

But she relented, and there she was, gifting herself with this memorable experience.

I told her I was happy she made that decision because I would have done the same.

And I followed with the text, “All we have is here and now.”

Doing anything for ourselves, especially if one is confronted with financial restrictions, usually comes with a lot of mulling. The idea of treating ourselves to satiate our pleasure sounds self-indulgent.

And if you come from an immigrant family or are a first-generation immigrant like my friend and myself, ensuring stability and security for ourselves is at the forefront of every decision.

Yet, we must never forget that the present is all we have, and we need to learn to cherish the opportunities we have in front of us. It’s easy to relegate a decision to someday and assume that another option will be waiting for us.

However, the reality is we cannot predict what will happen tomorrow or a year from now.

It’s a balance, of course. We should not be reckless with our financial decision, but we should also learn to go guilt-free after the experiences we want.

Like my friend who decides to gift herself with this experience, she can check this off her list and never need to say, “I wish I had done that.”

When we are willing to trade our sense of security for a novel experience, we expand the boundaries that allow us to see things from a different perspective. As a result, life is richer and more fulfilling

You finally crossed the elusive threshold from being a doctoral student to becoming a doctoral candidate.

This means you have labored through your doctoral coursework and defended your doctoral candidacy review. That journey alone probably took 2 to 3 years. In my case, it was four full academic years. 

It is a significant milestone in your doctoral journey.

But before you can go forth and embark on your research, you need to write and defend your proposal.

Today I attended my first proposal class after I defended my doctoral candidacy this summer.

As a first-generation college student, I realized I had no idea what would happen after the doctoral coursework phase.

This is what I learned in my first proposal class.

The proposal class prepares doctoral candidates to be ready for their dissertations. Think of this stage where you clearly understand your research and do the groundwork for your dissertation phase.

In my proposal class, the aims are three folds.

In 12 weeks, the aim to

#1 Develop and refine our research ideas

#2 Form our dissertation committee

#3 Write the drafts for the first three chapters of the dissertation, which is Chapter 1 (Purpose of research), Chapter 2 (Literature review), and Chapter 3 (Research Methods)

That’s a hell of a lot of work in 12 weeks.

According to my professor, attrition rates are the highest in the candidacy phase. Folx who couldn’t pass this stage are usually those who couldn’t do #1 because getting clear on their research question is where people trip the most.

In my following essay, I will share a framework for how to get clear on the research question.

I keep a What Will Make Today Great list.

The idea of making a great day list came when I noticed feeling a sense of accomplishment and living closer to my purpose after doing certain things. Yet, I don't intentionally do them enough.

In an attempt to live more mindfully, I decided to list the things that would make my day great and as a personal reminder to strive for daily. 

I also set the perimeters of the list of things that would make my day great

• they must be simple and attainable daily

• they must align with my personal values

• they can be repeated indefinitely without invoking the feeling that I need to arrive somewhere

These are the five things that would always make my day great.

Get Ample Rest The Night Before

A good night of rest gives me the energy and the mental clarity to do the work I need to do. Without it, I would be slower, crankier, and cannot give my best. 

Carve Out Time for Silence and Stillness

As a regular meditator, carving out time for silence and stillness is imperative. I treat it as a time of "going home" to myself and spending time with myself. 

Eat One Delicious & Nourishing meal

This does not mean I only eat once a day, but at least once a day, having a nourishing and delicious meal is a way to treat myself. 

Find A Way To Serve

Every day, if I could serve someone and make a difference, that would make a good day great. 

Create Something

This is particularly important as creating and expressing completes the cycle of consumption. It does not need to be perfect, but putting one piece of work out makes me feel fulfilled. 

Do you have a list of things that would make your day great? I'd love to hear yours. 

This is a story of how a hiatus derailed my creative journey and why showing up is the only way forward.

I had a remarkable first half of 2022 right up to summer. 

• I finished the last of my Ph.D. coursework.

• I got my dream position in training and development at my university.

• I completed the Ship 30 challenge, writing 30 essays in 30 days. (surprising myself!) 

• I finally visited home after 2 years and surprised my family.

Right before I left, everything was in a good place. 

• I had a routine that put me to work. 

• I had a routine that gave me rest 

• I was closely connected to my creatorpreneur friends, who supported each other's journey. 

But today I felt like starting from ground zero again. And it is frustrating. 

After my travels, I was completely derailed from my regular routine. I stopped creating and even stopped being in touch with my creator friends.

During this time, I was battling two opposing ideas.

On the one hand, I needed this break. I needed to let summer be summer.

On the other, as I am breaking my consistency. The longer I go without creating, the more I will need to catch up. And hell, it is true.

When I got back, it took me a moment to get back to my routine and reach out to my creator friends. It's difficult because we all serve as a form of reminder and accountability to each other creative pursuits. When I was not creating, I didn't feel I belonged anymore. 

It took a while before I started to show up again to the Creative Work Hour sessions that I found much joy in participating in. 

When the Ship 30 August cohort started, I procrastinated on the onboarding and shipped a day late. I was not as prepared as I was back in April.

But the only way to change this circumstance is by showing up.

Just like today, I almost didn't write. So I decided to write about my feelings and where I am right now.

I believe that is a form of showing up.

If you relate to this, I'd love to hear from you about how you talk to yourself on the way to getting back on track.

List making is the most straightforward form of writing things down, from planning your grocery list to crucial tasks for the week. 

These lists are short-lived. They serve their purpose once you check the item off.

But there are some lists worth keeping, bookmarked in your note-taking app or notebook, and returned periodically to add on and review. 

This form of list-making is an excellent way to track the evolution of ourselves.

Here are three lists you should start making to track the evolution of your learning. 

1. The 12 Favorite Problem List

I learned about 12FP from the Building A Second Brain cohort. Mine has changed multiple times, and listing them down along a date stamp is a great way to see how my interests have shifted.

2. The Course List

If you are like me, courses are my shiny new objects. Some courses I gained a lot from, and some I abandoned from Day 1. Listing down the list of courses is a way to understand your learning interests. Adding the investment cost and purpose of learning goals to this list is also helpful in informing your decision-making process before you sign up for the next course. 

3. The Newsletter Subscription List

It's easy to forget how many newsletters you are subscribed to. The best way to track them is to update this list during your Weekly Review. As you add the newsletter to the list, you will see which one is still serving you and which one does not.

Over time these lists are great insights to document the evolution of your personal growth and learning journey.

Do you have any recurring lists that you keep and revisit to document a similar purpose? I'd love to hear from you.

I grew up in a small town and attended an all-girls school from 7 to 17. Looking back, the most valuable thing I gained from my formative years is my girlfriends. At 37, I still have the same core group of friends from primary school that I can rely on even if I live halfway across the world from them. 

Now it's easy to think our friendship lasted because we have the same values and upbringing. It may have been the case when we were younger. Over the years, I watched my friends go through different periods of their lives and eventually formed identities of their own.

Yet, the friendship is constant. We are still there for each other, and all of my closest friends have outlasted my most profound romantic relationships.

I often wondered why until I uncovered the reasons in a conversation with one of my close friends.

• The reason why we are still friends is that we accepted each other wholeheartedly and unconditionally.

• Even when one of us changes, we don't flinch. We adapt. We choose to understand instead of judge.

• And most importantly, there are no expectations of what the other person should be.

And I firmly believe that is why friendships often outlast romantic relationships.

I am convinced that if we were to apply the same lens to our significant other, romantic relationships would be more durable to stand the test of time.

I completed the Ship 30 for 30 digital writing cohort course in April 2022. I did it at one of the busiest time of my life. I was wrapping up the final coursework for my PhD studies, preparing for my doctoral candidacy, while planning a surprise trip home to Malaysia after two years.

I managed to ship 30 essays daily, met wonderful shippers who I continue to stay in touch with, and decades worth of lessons on digital writing which I would not have learnt otherwise.

Here are a few reasons why I am back onboard

1. Practicing and cultivating the daily writing habit is one of the most grounding thing I have done for myself.

2. The action of shipping daily, even on days I really don't want to write, and yet persevere through taught me to be more mentally resilient. Even better, it is an excellent confidence booster in the things I am capable of.

3. There are so much more to learn, lessons to revisit, and things to put into practice. The learning never ends here at Ship 30.

Over the next 30 days, I plan on writing about

• reflection and journaling practices to live more mindfully

• documenting my learning journey as I settle into my new role as a training and development specialist especially in community building

• reasons why I want to create, and how can I be a mindful creator in today's fast paced short attention span world

I look forward to journeying with all of you!