Many of us remember squirming under a forced hug or kiss when we were kids - usually from a relative.

We should never force or coerce a child touch anyone.

Sounds obvious when I put it like that, but forced hugging is engrained in many of us as "polite." Family members may be offended or guilt trip kids if denied a hug.

But coercive physical contact can have serious negative consequences for kids.

• Mixed messages ("no one can touch you unless you want them too, except this relative who I will make you touch.")

• Kids learn their "no" will not be respected by adults

• Sets up kids to accept other unwanted touching.

Forced hugs & kisses tell kids their are not in control of their bodies.

When parents push physical contact with anyone, it teaches kids that they don't control their bodies, and to discount their discomfort.

Additionally, this teaches children they are responsible for soothing and managing adults' feelings, while simultaneously dismissing their own.

You can prepare for these interactions and empower your child.

When as adult tells their kid to hug me, I say "I don't want a forced hug. It's perfectly fine not to hug me or anyone that you don't want to."

When your child says "no" to a hug - support them. Kids can be offered alternatives - high fives, thumbs up, or no interaction are all OK.

Finally, children don't owe anyone affection.

Adults often smother kids because they want their own love validated. But no one owes you their affection. Adults must learn to accept rejection from children.

You can teach your kids that their bodies are their own. They don't owe anyone affection. Teach them that their "no" is important and respected.