Let’s face it: leadership isn’t about being liked.

It’s about being clear.

And sometimes, that means disappointing people. But here’s the twist—disappointment doesn’t have to be cruel. Done right, it’s actually pretty kind. (stick with me on this).

Picture this: You’re leading a team meeting. There’s tension in the room because of missed deadlines. You know what needs to be said and done, but you hesitate. Why? Because you don’t want to disappoint your team.

So, you soften the message, add fluff, and walk away with the problem still hanging in the air. Sound familiar? How does that feel to the team?

Now think outside work. You’re a parent setting boundaries with your kid, teaching them that, yep, chores are part of life. Or a friend saying "no" because you’re maxed out. Leadership moments pop up everywhere—around the dinner table, in texts, at community events. Everyone is a leader in some way.

The Hard Truth: Leadership is about managing expectations—which means disappointing people sometimes. But disappointment isn’t the enemy. Confusion is.

When we avoid clear conversations to spare feelings, we just create more mess. And that mess? It turns into frustration and resentment.

Good leaders lean into those awkward-tough-difficult moments because clarity—even when it hurts a bit—helps people grow. Whether it’s your team, your kids, your friends, or your community...being clear builds trust. It might feel like a disappointment now, but it’s actually setting the stage for long-term growth.

Clarity is Kindness: Brené Brown said it best: "Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind."

When you give honest, direct feedback right away, you cut out the guesswork. People know where they stand, what to fix, and how to improve. Wait too long, and you leave space for people to make up stories—usually not the good kind. Negative narratives. Whether it's your team at work, your family at home, or your friend who's overstepping, clear expectations show respect. You're saying, "I believe you can handle the truth." Even if they disagree.

Barriers to Being Clear and Disappointing: Sounds easy, right? Just be clear. But in real life, it’s way tougher and there’s a bunch of stuff that gets in the way. Usually emotions. Recognizing these barriers is the first step to moving past them, whether you’re leading a project, parenting, or trying not to ghost a friend who’s asking too much.

Fear of Conflict: No one loves tough conversations. But avoiding them just makes things 100x worse later.
Wanting to Be Liked: Leadership isn’t a popularity contest. Your job isn’t to keep everyone happy; it’s to help them grow. (Pro-tip: you will never get 100% consensus.)
Feeling Unsure: Sometimes you hesitate because you don’t have all the answers. That’s okay. A little clarity is better than none.

Action Steps for Clear, Kind Leadership: Knowing the problem is one thing. Doing something about it? That’s where the magic happens. Here’s how to bring clarity (and kindness) to your leadership, whether at work, home, or anywhere in between.

Set Expectations Early: Lay it out from the start—what you expect, what success looks like, all those things that can throw people off if not done right.
Give Feedback Right Away: Don’t let issues simmer. Address them as they pop up, focusing on the behavior, not the person. The minute you see something go off track...step in.
Remind, Don’t Re-argue: Leadership is often just reminding people of what you already agreed on. It’s not nagging; it’s keeping things on track. With grace and kindness.
Keep It Simple: No need for fancy words. Be direct. Be clear. Get to the point. Give people one action step.
Own Your Message: Speak with confidence. If you believe in what you’re saying, others will take it seriously.
Lead with Empathy. Being clear doesn’t mean being cold. Deliver your message with respect and understanding. Your tone and body language matter way more than we think. Remember over 80% of communication is NOT the words.

Leadership isn’t about making everyone comfortable. Or happy. It’s about being real. It’s about having the guts to say the hard thing because it matters. Whether you’re leading a team, parenting your kids, supporting a friend, or guiding your community, clarity cuts through the noise. It’s not about being harsh—it’s about being honest, kind, and direct.

So, be clear. Be kind. Be quick. Say what needs to be said, with heart and purpose. Because at the end of the day, people don’t remember the discomfort of the tough conversation—they remember the respect you showed them by having it in the first place.

Leadership: The Art of Disappointing People (And Why That's A Good Thing)

Let’s face it: leadership isn’t about being liked. It’s about being clear. And sometimes, that means

The all-in-one writing platform.

Write, publish everywhere, see what works, and become a better writer - all in one place.