Ravjot (Samar)

Seeing my 11 year old niece all time watching TV and reels, today I tried to politely explain her what's going on. Was struggling to make her understand about this addiction. To my surprise a general framework came to rescue.

After the session, what I found more valuable is filling her mind with this mental model to use for different situations in life.

Mental model was simple. It was stages of awareness - Unaware, Problem Aware, Solution Aware, Action.

With some humorous stories and examples, I let her believe through her answers, she was on Unaware stage and now moving to Problem Aware stage. And showed her, what a Solution Aware in this case looks like. And it could be difficult to move to Action stage even you are Solution aware. And all this is part of the game and will take time to move across stages, and can be hard. But best part is making progress and questioning.

Later we practice this for junk food, any of her subject question, etc.

I know this not gonna break her addiction instantly.

But what I found is, she was listening and curious to ask questions. Was not resisting, as she use to do earlier. That was also my win.

But the biggest win is for the first time, I tried to give her simple general mental model, a new way of thinking so she can keep it with her for life. (of course, a few reminders from me are needed initially)

So this is what made my Sunday today. 🙌🏻❤️

If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. And even if you ask and they say no, that’s not necessarily a no forever it’s just a no right now.

I don't want to enter into a relationship that constantly drains my energy.

I'd rather be in one where we have both mutual space to think, grow, and experience life together, as well as individual space to pursue our own paths.

A relationship where we support each other, help each other rise, and grow together without holding each other back.

At the same time, I need to sit down and redesign my goals, especially the goals we would want to pursue together.

Because a good relationship should have room for both individual growth and shared dreams.

Read something worthy yesterday on Goodreads, and added in my Daily Read list

Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped anyone in need?
Have I cheered up the sad, and made someone feel glad?
If not, I have failed indeed.
Has anyone’s burden been lighter today, because I was willing to share?
Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
When they needed my help was I there?
If not, then:
Wake up! And do something more, than dream of my mansion (or whatever) above (or wherever).
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure, a blessing of duty and love.

“But what I like most to do is lie down in the early evening, just for half an hour anywhere I am, and listen to all the sounds I can hear. As if I were listening to music. And being attentive to things very far and very present, and when you hear voices and they’re speaking a language you don’t understand, it’s really beautiful. I love that.”
― Jim Jarmusch

“Nothing is original. Steal from anywhere that resonates with inspiration or fuels your imagination. Devour old films, new films, music, books, paintings, photographs, poems, dreams, random conversations, architecture, bridges, street signs, trees, clouds, bodies of water, light and shadows. Select only things to steal from that speak directly to your soul. If you do this, your work (and theft) will be authentic. Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent. And don’t bother concealing your thievery - celebrate it if you feel like it. In any case, always remember what Jean-Luc Godard said: “It’s not where you take things from - it’s where you take them to."

― Jim Jarmusch

Universe will meet you at your level of Audacity.

The price of admission to anything extraordinary isn't talent or capital. It's a willingness to be publicly bad at something for a while.

-Shane Parrish

Edwin Land on the power of focus:

"My whole life has been spent trying to teach people that intense concentration for hour after hour can bring out in people resources they didn't know they had."

1. The fact that you “can’t do” something can be embarrassing. But if you are “learning to do” something that is admirable. There are only tiny baby steps between can’t and learning.

2. A worthy goal for a year is to learn enough about a subject so that you can’t believe how ignorant you were a year earlier

3. You can’t reason someone out of a notion that they didn’t reason themselves into.

4. Gratitude will unlock all other virtues and is something you can get better at.

1. Everything seems fine when you are not thinking.

2. Billionaires and their obsession with coming up with products and services that stop the average person from thinking.

3. If you're going to buy an item, buy one that's high quality and will age with you.

4. When you're willing to make big sacrifices and stay deeply focused on your goal, all kinds of magic happen.

On any given day, I should have limited Yes and unlimited No.

There is no need to worry about saying no to the many people and requests that come our way. The supply of No is unlimited.

But Yes is a rare commodity. So, we must be very particular about whom and what we say yes to.

Because every yes is also a choice about where we spend our limited time and energy.

“And I despise your books, I despise wisdom and the blessings of this world. It is all worthless, fleeting, illusory, and deceptive, like a mirage. You may be proud, wise, and fine, but death will wipe you off the face of the earth as though you were no more than mice burrowing under the floor, and your posterity, your history, your immortal geniuses will burn or freeze together with the earthly globe.”
― Anton Chekhov

I wish we had the technology to enter someone else's mind. I could then offer a service where I go inside people's minds, clean up the mess, organize everything and delete unnecessary things.

Just like people hire someone to clean their homes, they could hire me to clean and organize their minds.

And when I'm done with my service, they would walk away feeling lighter and better about themselves.

Now, that would be my dream job!

Meditation is like exercise for mind. Like you train in gym to build muscle, meditation helps you build the muscle of metacognition. Metacognition is watching your thinking.

-Graham Weaver

“If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning.”
― Vincent van Gogh

1. “The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers & cities; but to know someone who thinks & feels with us, & who, though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden.”

2. “I am proud of my heart alone, it is the sole source of everything, all our strength, happiness and misery. All the knowledge I possess everyone else can acquire, but my heart is all my own”

3. “He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home.”

Here the line that hit me:

I only have two hands and so every day
I have to decide what I can carry.
Regret is a waste of a hand, and so is anger.
One hand is almost always reserved for hope.
(The other holds tight to you.)

- Kristina Mahr

“Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm; but the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves.”
― T.S. Eliot