I watched a speaker at my Toastmasters club last night and there was something discomforting about his speech.

It wasn't the content.

It wasn't the topic.

It wasn't the tone.

It was all in the delivery.

The body movement and gestures were out of sync with his speech.

A simple example.....

The speaker wanted to make three points, but gestured with two fingers.

And also this.....

During the speech the speaker slammed his fist into his other hand for emphasis, but the sentence that was being emphasised was delivered about 3-4 seconds earlier.

It was incongruent.

I get this with coaching as well.

It's not unusual to work with people who are out of sync with what I observe in their behaviour.

They lack congruence.

They say they like red shoes, but wear black shoes.

Admit it, you like black shoes!

The best people I work with are congruent. Their level of self-awareness helps growth to occur.

The toughest discussions are those with people that lack self-awareness. They lack congruence.

They would seem to have ignored feedback over the years.